Snap, Crackle, Pop! (Friends X Male Reader)

The One With Russ

[The gang is walking to a newsstand late at night. Joey is anxiously in the lead.]

Rachel: Joey, would you slow down? They're not gonna be sold out of papers at one o'clock in the morning.

Joey: I'm excited! I've never gotten reviewed before.

Monica: You were so amazing as the king. I was really impressed, I was.

Pheobe: Although, you know what? You might want to consider wearing underwear next time. Yeah, cause when you sat down on your throne you could kind of see your... royal subject.

Y/n: [Shudders] I'll never forget the... "thowmp" noise...

Joey: Here it is, here it is. [reading from newspaper] The only thing worse than the mindless, adolescent direction was Joseph Tribbiani's disturbingly unskilled portrayal of the king.

Chandler: OK, look, that is one guy's opinion, alright. Phoebs, read yours.

Pheobe: OK. [reading] The only thing worse than the mindless, adolescent direction...

Chandler: Does anyone have one from a different paper? Ross, read yours.

Ross: I don't want to.

Chandler: Y/n?

Y/n: Yeah... no way...

Rachel: Joey, honey, they don't know what they're talking about.

Y/n: Yeah.

Joey: Maybe they do. I've been doin' this ten years and I haven't gotten anywhere. There's gotta be a reason.

Ross: Oh c'mon. Maybe you're just, uhhh... paying your dues.

Joey: No, no, no, it.. it's too hard. It's not worth it. I quit.

Monica: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait one minute. Wait a minute. I believe this will change your mind. [Reads from paper] In a mediocre play, Joseph Tribbiana was able to achieve brilliant new levels of... continued on page 153...[turns it] sucking.

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[Scene: Y/n, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica comforting Joey at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]

Joey: When I was little, I wanted to be a veteranarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.

Y/n: [sips his drink] Close. But like the spirit. [Ross enters, depressed.] Hey bud.

Ross: [sullenly] Hiiiiii.

Pheobe: Are... are you OK?

Ross: Yeah, yeah, just a tough day at work. A stegosaurus fell over and trapped a kid. Whoa, whoa, I know this jacket, this is, th--Fun Bobby's jacket! Where is he, what. He, he's here, isn't he?

Monica: Maybe.

Ross: Don't toy with me.

[Fun Bobby (FBOB) enters from Monica's bedroom.]

FBOB: Geller!

Ross: Hey, Fun Bobby!

FBOB: Hey. Whoa, hey, you've been working out, huh?

Ross: Not at all! I love this guy. Hey, I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister!

Monica: You and me both.