Snap, Crackle, Pop! (Friends X Male Reader)

The One With the Ick Factor

(Scene: Central Perk. Everyone is there.)

Monica: Tell him.

Rachel: No.

Phoebe: Tell him, tell him.

Monica: Just...please tell him.

Rachel: Shut up!

Y/n: Tell me what?

Monica: Look at you, you won't even look at him.

Y/n: You're making me worried.

Rachel: All right, all right, all right. Last night, I had a dream that, uh, you and I, were...

Phoebe: Doing it on this table. (points at the table)

Y/n: Huh... I see.

Joey: Exellent dream score.

Ross: Why, why, why would you dream that?

Y/n: More importantly, was I any good?

Chandler: Was he good?

Rachel: Well, you were pretty damn good. You seemed to know your way around the table.

Y/n: Aww, Rachel, thank you. That makes me warm. I can't say I've had any dreams about you, but when I do, I'll let you know.

Rachel: Oh, please do. Don't be afraid to spice anything up.

Ross: I love it, when we share.

(Ross goes over to the counter. Y/n follows him.)

Y/n: You're okay there?

Ross: I can't belive you two had sex in her dream.

Y/n: I'm sorry, it was a one-time-thing. I was very drunk and i was somebody else's subconscious.

[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier, Chandler is sitting on the table.]

Chandler: Hello Rachel.

Rachel: Get off.

Y/n: Don't cause a scene.

Phoebe: (points at Joey's pen) Uh, uh, gimme. Can you see me operating a drill press?

Joey: I don't know. What are you wearing?

(Chandler, Monica and Phoebe looks at him)

Ross: Pheebs, why would you want to operate a drill press?

Phoebe: Just for some short-term-work. You know, until I get back some of my massage clients.

Chandler: Pirates again?

Phoebe: No, nothing like that. I was just...such a dummie. I taught this "massage-yourself-at-home-workshop." And they are.

Joey: Hey, hey, Chan. She could work for you.

Chandler: (sarcasticly) Thanks Joey, that's a good idea.

Phoebe: What... I could, I could do it. What is it?

Chandler: Well, my secretary is gonna be out for a couple of weeks. She is having one of her boobs redused. (Ross looks at her.) It's a whole big boob story.

Phoebe: I could be a secretary.

Chandler: Well, you know Phoebs. I don't know if it's your kinda thing, because it involves a lot of being normal. For a large portion of the day.

Phoebe: I could do that.

Y/n: Trust me, Chandler. Phoebe is very smart when she wants to be.

Phoebe: Now hang on... thank you.. wait... I don't know how to take that.