For Worse or For Better (Shawn Mendes)

I Wear My Lunch

Is that just me and my imagination?
-Shawn Mendes

The next day at school, Shawn doesn't show up to lead me around and I just manage to make it it my classes right before the bell rings.

At lunch, I sit with Tyler, listening to him tell me all about the mall he's taking me to on Saturday.

But my mind is somewhere else.

My eyes flicker to Shawn, at a table with his girlfriend and a few boys, all of them snickering and leaning into each other to whisper secretly.

Tyler and I roll our eyes, betting money on what they're talking about.

"The boys are debating what girl has the biggest ass in the school." Tyler says, tapping his quarter on the table.

"And the girls are deciding who is the hottest boy in the sophomore class." Tyler leans closer to me. "Which is obviously me."

I look at his curly blonde hair and his bright blue eyes.

I nod, humoring him. "Oh absolutely," I say with hospitality.

Tyler grins and jumps up. "I'm hitting the library to study. Tag along?"

I shake my head. "I think I'll stay here. Text me?"

Tyler nods and jogs off, his book bag bouncing on his back.

But he's back in a minute, sliding back onto his seat.

"Might as well stay a few extra minutes to hang," he says.

And this makes me smile.

We walk up to the lunch counters and I grab one of the trays of food.

As we walk past Shawn's table, Haley sticks her foot out and trips me.

I fly forward and face plant, my lunch covering my entire front.

Tyler reaches down to help me and moaning, I get up and give her a dirty look.

Everyone at her table is laughing.

Except Shawn.

He just looks at me with....I can't tell.

But when Haley turns to him with a death glare, he shoots to attention.

"What a klutz," he says, forcing a laugh.

Wow, he's more jerky than I thought.

To just sit there and laugh with all his little cronies.

And to the new kid of all things.

I was wrong about thinking that there was more to him.

He's just another boy who is too cowardly to do what he wants.

He's just another follower of the group of idiots that think they rule the school.

He's just another piece in the puzzle of two faced people.

My face burning as red as a tomato, I stomp off to my table, Tyler right beside me.

I throw my lunch away, tears burning my eyes.

How humiliating.

How embarrassing.

In my first week of school.

In this wretched town.

And this wretched school.

And these wretched kids.

I turn to Tyler, who looks at me with pity. He sees that I'm not in the mood to say anything, so he opens his arms and gives a bear hug.

"Just ignore them," he whispers in my ear. "They're not worth fussing over."

And I know that thought would stick in my head forever.

And as I walk to English with Tyler, I realize that I'm way more disappointed in Shawn than I should be.