For Worse or For Better (Shawn Mendes)

Boarding School

"If I didn't have you there would be nothin' left, the shell of a man who could never be his best."
—One Direction

I had been looking out my bedroom window at the beautifully clear blue sky when the walls of my already unstable life came crashing down around me.

I sit on my bed with my chest against a pillow pressed to the headboard, watching the birds fly from the power lines to the treetops.

"Skylar, someone's here to s-see you."

I whirl around, startled. Zac stands in my doorway, his eyes wide, his body slumped.

His lack of enthusiasm scares me. "Is there something wrong? Who is it? What do they want?"

Zac shakes his head. "He better tell you himself."

And then he disappears from view and a taller, broader figure fills the doorway.

"Shawn? What are you doing out of the hospital?"

And then I realize his face is screwed up in a look of sadness that I never, ever want to see on him. It breaks my heart to see him like this, his eyes red and puffy, his shoulders slumped, his hair tousled in every direction.

I jump off my bed, my heart aching, and pull Shawn down on the comforter. "Talk to me, Shawn, what's wrong?"

The worst possibilities run through my head, but I try to ignore them; no use jumping to any bizarre conclusions.

Shawn just stares straight ahead, swallowing, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. He blinks at me, turning to look into my eyes with his dread-filled ones.

"The police officer," Shawn's voice cracks with raw emotion and I almost can't stand it. I scramble for his hand as he continues. "The young one, he found out about my father. He went to check on Aaliyah and found her locked in a closet, crying, my dad passed out on the couch. He broke the door down and told her I was awake and that I'd be okay. He brought her to the hospital and reported my father to the authorities. They interrogated Aaliyah and me, and what was I gonna do? She's eight, for heavens sake! I couldn't have her lie. I jut couldn't. So, my father was taken to a rehabilitation center in the US where he could fully recover and ease off alcohol. He's gone, Sky, and I'm not eighteen yet."

I don't know what to say; I can't believe this had all happened in two days and I hadn't had a clue. I wasn't there for Shawn and his little sister and now I can't do anything. "I'm so sorry Shawn, that's awful."

He looks at me, his expression filled with hurt. "That's not even the worst part, Sky."

"How could it get any worse?"

Shawn looks me in the eye, taking a piece of stray hair from my ponytail and twirling it around his finger. He sighs, closes his eyes and leans in to kiss me gently.

I'm a little taken aback, but I manage to find my voice. "Why do I have a feeling you're not just about to tell me you love me?"

"Because I'm not." He looks so pained it kills me; I am so frightened for his next words. "I'm only sixteen, which means I'm not legally allowed to take care of my sister on my own. They're sending her to a home for girls in Ontario."

"Oh, Shawn, I'm so sorry." I hug him tightly, feeling his tears on my neck.

"I'm losing my sister, Sky, my baby sister, and that's still not the worst part."

"Oh my god." At this point, I don't think I can handle any more, but Shawn is keeping it together and I owe him my strength.

"My uncle, he....he signed me up for boarding school. In Toronto."

"What?!" I shout and I see Shawn wince as my voice raises. A jolt of shame immediately runs through my body and I look at the ground bashfully. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell. But...you can't be serious. You can't leave. I—I need you. You need me. You can't go to boarding school. They, they can't split us up, thy just can't—"

And then I break, my entire body shutting itself down. "Shawn—"

"I know, I know," he says, pulling me into his lap to hug me gently. His grip on me is tight, as if he won't ever let go.

"That's still not the worst part." Shawn murmurs.

"You're gonna kill me, Shawn, legitimately."

"I'm not coming back. Ever."