Book 4: The Sweet Tooth's Second Shot (Jennie X Female Reader)

01

Word Count: 2,764

Where do I even begin?

I glanced around my meticulously organized living room, feeling the weight of the recent events. Just returning from my stroll around Seoul on this Christmas night, the image of Jennie choosing to run away from me lingered in my mind, leaving a bittersweet taste in my mouth.

With a sigh, I sank into a chair and surveyed my surroundings. My house was as pristine as ever, every rule and order I desired carefully followed. Dealing with OCD had always been a struggle, making it difficult for me to connect with others.

I muttered a curse under my breath and absentmindedly turned on the TV. A cartoon played on the screen, but my mind remained fixated on that snowy scene with Jennie-watching her walk away.

Walk away.

What did she mean by saying that if she didn't run away now, she wouldn't be able to leave again? Did she still... No, I'm hopeless.

I groaned and let out a frustrated scream into the cushion, feeling the weight of my hopelessness settle upon me.

I turned off the television with the remote, stood up, and made my way to the kitchen. Grabbing a plate, I prepared to cook, or rather, attempt to cook-fried eggs, a dish I was familiar with.

That's all I knew how to cook.

It's not like I still had anyone to take care of me.

I snickered at myself and started cooking, my mind still wandering elsewhere. Lost in my thoughts, I almost burnt the food.

"Ah, shit," I muttered, frantically turning off the heat.

Thankfully, it still looked edible, or at least I hoped so.

I sat down and began eating the rice and eggs, contemplating how I was spending Christmas alone while others were celebrating with loved ones.

It's not like I didn't deserve this solitude. After all, I had brought it upon myself with what I had done to both Rosie and Jennie.

I deserve to be alone.

As I choked on my food, I quickly ran for a glass of water, feeling relieved when I managed to clear my throat.

"What's wrong with me today?" I sighed, feeling a sense of unease lingering.

I decided to indulge in some dessert. I reached into the pocket of my jacket and pulled out the candy cane.

She would have loved this.

I opened it and started nibbling, finding some solace in the sweet taste.

I sat outside on the balcony, gazing at the stars above.

She would have loved this.

I hummed softly as I licked the candy, a bittersweet feeling washing over me.

"Stop it, you moron. You deserve this," I chastised myself, my laughter carrying a hint of sarcasm.

My phone suddenly rang, and though I hesitated, I answered without checking the caller ID.

"Y/N!" a familiar voice exclaimed.

I knew that voice all too well.

"Lisa," I replied.

"Merry Christmas!" she greeted cheerfully.

"Likewise. What's up?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"I just wanted to make sure that you're still alive," she teased.

"You can breathe now. I still am," I replied dryly.