Ashes in the Snow

Sixteen

I'm running. I'm surrounded by trees and bushes. All I feel is fear. My chest is tight, I feel like I can't breathe, except I am. I'm painting hard from running. I don't know where I am, but all I know is that I've been running far for so long. I feel the rocks underneath my feet, I hear the pebbles scattering with each step.

I try running faster, but I can't. I feel out of breath, I'm very tired and weak. My foot hits a root and I trip, falling on my face. My hands hurt from the impact, with there being blood and little pebbles. I hear another set of footsteps, running behind me. I turn around and see a blade.

I wake up in my sweat and am breathing fast. My heart is beating like crazy. Just another nightmare. I've been having them more. They have been becoming more intense and vivid, which has been making them scarier.

Three more days until the games. I've always been afraid, but it has been feeling more real the closer I get. I don't want to die and I know Coriolanus has been telling me that I won't, but what if I can't protect myself in there? Like he said, he can only do half the work. He can work on sponsors and sending me gifts like food and water, but I need to fight to survive.

I don't know how I'm going to survive. I feel as though it doesn't matter how much training you get, someone better could still come around and end it all. I'm just a girl from district 12. I was just a hob merchant. I used to sell clothing and material my mother used to make. We even had some wool on hand sometimes that we could sell. The wool probably sold the best, but was hard to come by. How could a girl from district 12 win the games? I have no special skills. I wish I had some kind of special skill like combat fighting, swimming, fishing, or even how to use an axe. My best bet would probably be to hide, to wait it out.

I miss my mother. I've been told that I look exactly like her. My mother has been described as a pleasant woman. She's polite and sweet, but also quiet and mousy. She knows everyone in our town, so she is loved by all. District 12 is small, but we all look out for each other. We're all like a big family, that's what I love about it. If I could win and give my mother a better life, that would be life changing. I would really like to do that for her.

I decide that today it's not all games, I'm going to make something out of myself. I can't afford to be friendly anymore; this needs to all be professional. As much as I like Bianca, at the end of the day there can only be one victor. I will still be allies with her because I think it would be beneficial for me, but I can't get to know her better, because watching her die would be too hard. In the games we're not people anymore. We are animals to be slaughtered in there.

Kill or be killed.

I have things to live for; to fight for. I want to see my mother again. I want to give her a better life. I want to see Holly Mae and check on how she's doing. Eric was right, she's like a little sister to me. And for the first time in my life, I see something better for myself. I see a possibility with Coriolanus, a bright future. I have such strong feelings for him and I want to see where it goes. As immoral as he can be sometimes, I know he cares about me. Everything he's done is to show how much he cares about me. I could see myself living in the Capitol with him and visiting my mother in the new house given to me as victor. I know a lot of people hate the capitol; I hate the capitol too, but it's better than living like I have my entire life. I want something better for myself.

————-

I head over to the training center and see Bianca. We immediately team up together. I see the other tributes watching us, fearing us. Our alliance is a powerful one, or at least that's what they think from my reputation, even though I've never killed anyone before. Everyone thinks I'm a cold, murderous bitch.

A girl from district 5 walks up to us. Her name is Tate Deveraux. She has fiery red hair and green piercing eyes. She appears to be strong. I've seen her with an axe a few times and she's not too bad. I would say she herself is pretty intimidating.

"Looking for an alliance," Tate says, walking up to us.

Bianca looks skeptical. "What can you do for us?"

"Well I'm pretty good with an axe. I could help protect you. I'm also pretty good at telling what's poisonous and what's not, depending on the arena we're in. You protect me and I protect you."

Bianca and I look at each other, I nod at her giving her the okay. The more people the better right now. It's good to have more allies than enemies at the start.

"Alright 5," Bianca sticks her arm out. "You're in."

Tate grabs her forearm and and they both look at each other, nodding their heads at the mutual agreement.

"I heard your mentor is a piece of work," Tate says to me.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"My mentor told me how Snow is the top of the class and how he has been working towards the Plinth Prize. Apparently he's been close to the head game maker and has been giving her ideas for the games."

So that's how he's doing it. That's how he's saving me. He's close to the head game maker. He could whisper something in her ear that could save my life. I knew I could rely on him.

"Has he been convincing?" Tate asks me.

"Convincing, how so?" I ask, confused.

"Apparently he told my mentor how he was going to gain your trust by acting like he cared about you. He told her 'nothing is going to get in my way with the plinth prize. Especially a girl from district 12.' I don't know, some bullshit like that."

It felt like my heart stopped. My mind couldn't process anything. Is this true? I'm going back in my head, over the memories we shared. I don't understand. How could he hurt me like that? I need to know if it's true, I need to talk to him. But again, I'm just a girl from district 12. I'm a nobody to him. How could I be so stupid?

I am nothing.