Sick & Twisted

Lover Dearest

this place is a hole but I don't want to go.
I wish we could stay here forever alone.
this time that we waste, but I still love your taste.
don't let him take my place don't just sit there

"Hello?"
James answered the house phone after it interruptedly rang in the middle of his and Emily conversation. Part of him was relieved, and the half was disappointed. He wanted to get it off his chest, tell her, let loose, but the hurt part always crept in and pushed her away. Soon enough he would push her so far away she'd fall in love with someone else. That was the thing he feared. Emily patiently stood in the doorframe of the gigantic house, arms crossed against her chest; she looked tense. Her feelings were a mixture of annoyance and betrayal. As soon as the phone rang James ran as fast as he could to answer it. She could see it in his eyes that he didn't want to tell her. The way his movements were as he talked to whoever was on the other line of the telephone. The way he was looking in the other direction, avoiding her eye contact. It almost made her cry. Her once blue eyes were now glossed with the tears that she was fighting to control.

James' words faded into a distant as she thought. Why was she here in the first place? She thought to herself, it's not like he changed.

"James," she interrupted him.

James turned around as fast as he could, her voice. Her voice was... it sounds so hurt. So heartbroken. He became extremely worried, she always had this certain look on her face whenever she was going to say something that hurt her. & with James, that happened alot.

James pushed the phone away from his ear, letting his hand fall to his hip, he pressed the end button. He gulped, he seemed to be like this all the time. Worried. He was loosing everyone at this moment in his life, and he was sure he has finally pushed her away. For good. She brushed her hands through her hair, feeling a lump in her throat form, she tried not to cry.

"I'm gonna leave," She tried to speak but as soon as she did, her voice cracked, and the tears fell from her gorgeous face.

James breathed, letting the words accurately sink into his head. "To Where?"

"I don't know." She kept her eyes on the ground. "I'm just done here," her eyes closed as the tears freshly escaped. She wanted her words to be loud, but they only came out as a mere whisper. So quiet. Yet it was so loud to James. He could hear his heart beating, it was beating so rapidly, so fast, he thought it was going to explode right then.

"What do you mean?"

James automatically cut off his feelings. Being the victim of what happened to him, he was able to turn his feelings on and off. He blamed his mother. She never paid any attention to him anymore.

"I'm leaving," she calmly said. She thought she was being strong but as soon as she turned to face the door, she was weak as ever. "...and I'm not gonna come back." She finished her sentence and James' chest tightened.

"Please...don't leave me Emily." He begged and she automatically turned around at the sound of his voice.

"Why?" She asked him. "The only time you ever wanna talk to me is when you go and say you want me back. You know I love you, you know how much I do and honestly I feel like your just keeping me for your own sick game." She spat, her words violently angry.

"Game?" James crazily laughed. "Is that what you think!"

"Yeah!" She loudly yelled. "You say you want me, here I am James! I'm standing right here and your doing nothing about it. I know something happened, you just don't wanna tell me..."

"That's not true!" James cut her off, shaking his head as fast as he could.

"Then why aren't you?" She took the sleeve of her shirt wiping away her tears. She felt as if someone was cutting her with a knife. Love this did to her. She always fell head over heels for someone who wouldn't catch her. James wanted to catch her, he just didn't have the strength to. "I told you everything about me, I told you everything..."