healing hearts

Chapter 6

Ben's POV

After a few minutes of silence, me going through my thoughts trying to organize them and her curled up on the couch, staring blankly at the black TV screen, I speak up.

"Alexa? Please talk to me. What really happened between you and him?" I practically plead.

She looks at me with sadness, fear and hope in her eyes. I can tell she doesn't want to but God, I need to know. I want to know. I want to be able to protect her as much as I can.

I move closer to her on the couch and decide to try again. I reach for her and grab her chin gently with my thumb and pointer finger, prompting her to look at me. "Alexa, look at me, please talk to me." She sniffles, wipes her eyes and then nods her head.

I watch her carefully as she begins to speak.

"Alex, our relationship was good.. when he was sober.. and when I would do everything he said without making him angry. I broke up with him to protect myself. When he would drink or got really angry, he would lash out and get violent.. I had to get away from him. I never knew when he was going to lash out and I couldn't wait any longer because he never would have let me leave. I don't know why he would treat me like that Ben." I watch her, her brown eyes filling with tears again as she looks away from me.

"Alexa, did he ever hurt you?" I look at her and watch her face, as I feel my jaw clench and my body stiffen as I wait for her answer.

After a few seconds of silence, watching her twist the  rings on her hands - a nervous habit of hers- I repeat myself, "Alexa, please. Did he ever hurt you?" I watch her as I take one of her hands in mine.

She looks at me as a few tears fall from her eyes and then looks away, like she can't bare to see my face.. and then she nods her head slowly. "A-a few times."

That's it, i'm done for. I see red, the hand that's not holding hers clenches into a fist and my heart speeds up.

"Alexa.. a few times? You never told me. Why didn't you tell me?" I look at her and try to keep my voice calm and soften my eyes, the last thing I want to do is scare her, then she'll stop talking.

She shrugs and sniffles, "I was scared.. and embarrassed.. I just thought it was my fault he hit me. I didn't know what I was doing wrong. Eventually, I realized it wasn't my fault, and that it was because of the effect that the alcohol has on him and his anger issues. But I just didn't want anyone to know.. Everyone would look at me differently, especially you.."

It breaks my heart hearing this but I can tell she doesn't want to talk about it anymore. To be honest, I don't either, if this conversation continues, who knows what i'll do. So instead of answering, I just pull her into me and hold her tight.

After a few minutes of sitting there with her in my arms, she finally calms down.

Tell her Ben. This is your chance.

I work up the courage to finally tell her what i've wanted to tell her for so long.

"Alexa, can I tell you something?"

She leans up and looks at me, my arm still around her waist. Her eyes are filled with curiosity and confusion. She nods her head and I take the lead.

I take a deep breath and collect my thoughts before speaking. "I like you. I always have. I never wanted to admit it because of our friendship, but I convinced myself that it's something I needed to do, for my sanity really. I've been going crazy at school, thinking about you and I had to do it. Get it off my chest. I understand if this is too much, and if you don't feel the same way, I hope we can stay friends, as close as we are now."

I scan her face trying to look for a reaction. Her big brown eyes are locked on me and I can't help but feel embarrassed for putting this all on her after what just happened with her ex.

After a few seconds of silence, I finally see a hint of emotion when a small smile comes across her face.

"Really?" she squeaks out, shock and amazement evident on her pretty face.

I nod and run my hand through my hair, "Yeah.."

Her smile grows wider, "Ben, I feel the same way."

Relief, shock, and wonder enter my body all at once. My eyes meet hers, and I can't help but just look at her for a few seconds.

Then, I lean in and move my face closer to hers.

I hear her gasp softly but she doesn't stop me as I get closer and my lips finally connect with hers.

I may sound like a pussy, but I won't lie to you when I say that I literally feel sparks. I can't help but smile against her mouth as she kisses me back.

All these years i've wanted to tell her how I feel and feel her against me, and it's finally happening. Finally.

I move a little closer to her, my mouth still on hers, my hands trailing up to her face and holding both sides of her face gently.

Heaven. This is what heaven is like. Finally.

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Ahhhhh!! I'm so happy!!

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Thank you for reading!

- I