In A Week I Will Be Dead

Chapter Nine: Earphones

!!!TW!!!

Mentions of suicide

IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING, CALL THE SAMARITANS ON 116 123 <3 <3 <3

Noah

Dear Anonymous,

As you probably already know, my name is Noah and I am the one receiving your letters/emails. Not going to lie, I'm pretty worried about you and would love it if you would just tell me who you were. This way, I could help you in person and I wouldn't jump every time my email account has a new email.

Cheers,

Noah

I send the email, and change into some more appropriate going out clothes. I can't believe I almost ran outside in a pair of boxer shorts earlier. Although I'm extremally proud of myself for not fainting this time. Yay gold star for me. I shove my phone into my back pocket as I head down the stairs. List: check. Phone: check. Money: check. Keys: check. Life: check. I smile as five little clicking sounds can be heard in my head.

Myself

I make it a generalised rule to always hide from people on a Sunday, because with social interaction comes so many things. I just lie there, in my bed. Here I am oblivious to the world. The world is oblivious to me. I like this mutual obliviousness. I have nothing to get up for. Not just yet anyway.

Somebody enters my room, and I lie as still as I can so they think I'm sleeping. Espionage via unconsciousness is the best way to go about anything. People reveal things to those they deem to be in another dimension. So, we dream on.

'You awake?' I respond by rolling over, and ever so slightly increasing the volume of my breathing.

'Seriously, are you awake?' I give up and answer.

'I am now.'

'Good. We're back, but we're going to the cinema now. Could you possibly do my duty for me?'

'Sure.'

'Thanks, you're the best!'

Through clenched teeth I speak, 'Have fun.'

'Will do.'

Before I know it, they are out of the room and running down the stairs. Before I know it, I'm sat at my laptop and opening my emails. I kind of hoped Noah would respond.

Email 3: Noah. Received at 12:14 today.

As I read, I realise I didn't think my letters would have this much of an effect on him. I didn't realise he'd get attached. What the hell have I done? I start to internally shrink into myself, and it comes back. Now my brain is attached to something. Something which happened the night before which almost broke my deal. I stare at the 'R' key on my laptop, as my eyes shut down and my brain begins to whir. The picture begins to form as I try to remember exactly what happened, like a sick cinema.

Saturday night. The time is approximately eight thirty or so. God, I hate approximate timings. I head downstairs with the rest of my friends, ready to go out to the club my school puts on. I don't have to do duty. There's no duty on a Saturday. No putting the younger years to bed.

I place two fingers to my head and mime shooting myself, as I sign myself out of the boarding house. I check that everyone is there, and head off into the blackness of the night. The light leaves my face, and it becomes blurred with the dark. I smile, and like a child in a dream I sleepwalk to my destination.

Upon arrival, I am greeted by a nod. This is more than my friends get, and I feel quite pleased with myself. Nobody says anything to them; they just merge off into the crowd.