In A Week I Will Be Dead

Chapter Twenty-Two: Mentioned

!!!TW!!!

Suicide references, unkind thoughts

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Noah

Eviction day. Safe haven gone. Where else can I seek asylum? My room? No. Nowhere is safe but here, where they don't let the lions in. I forget how many days I've spent here. When in a room full of white and a building without sound, time seems to slip and change against its tracker.

I would have to go back to lessons again. I remember the first lesson I had when I got back from my 'event' last year; English literature with Mr Queen. It was a right laugh.

We were asked to write a poem about something that happened to us over the holiday season, and to 'embrace our inner emotions' or some yoga shit like that. I already knew that there were some horrible rumours going around about my family that I wanted to crush as a result of my absence, and I wanted to teach Patiens a lesson. What he said earlier to me in front of his mates wasn't right. I wrote an absolute banger of a masterpiece. I swear to god, I should be poet laureate or some fancy title like that. I entitled my work of genius, 'In the Quiet'.

In the Quiet

we know things

but we're too full up

so we drain what we know

so we don't blow up

instead

we blow up things

so we're safe inside

full up in the knowledge

to say that we tried

i know things.

the car alarm below

is constantly ringing

beneath my window.

shut up.

i'm trying to combust

whilst i'm staying alive

so that they can rest

and say that they tried

the glass keeps moving

as it weakens the rain

but the rain will come back

to haunt it again

reincarnation

i hear no dogs bark

just the buzzing of nothing

i lie on my back

and stare at the ceiling

i count all the sheep

lined upon my hand

and they walk away secrets

as i try to not stand

empty.

i open my eyes

and close their lids

the quiet is louder

my existence is hid

i fall back asleep

just as i woke up

i drained what i know

so i didn't blow up

instead

i drowned all my dreams

and faced the ceiling