Darkest Desires [Joel Miller]

10

The storm raged wildly outside the window, while me and Joel were sitting on the couch, his arms wrapped around me in a protective way. I looked up to him and his soft, brown eyes met mine. Our lips were so close and I wanted to lean in, kiss him but I knew it was wrong in every way possible.

I didn't know what was happening but it was like he read my mind. He leaned in, softly brushing his lips onto mine. His lips tasted like whiskey but not in a bad way. My heart was beating in my chest, like my heart wanted to jump out any time. I needed more than what he gave me.

I sat onto his lap and I caught a glimpse of a surprised emotion on his face but he didn't push me away either. We both knew how wrong it was but neither of us didn't care when our lips met each other again. The kiss was heated, filled with passion and desire that we held back for so long. His hands made their way under my shirt, discovering every curve of my body.

 I closed my eyes, moaning softly over his every touch. His hand reached for my bra, unclasping it and tossing to the ground...

I woke up in the middle of the night, confused and I looked around. The early morning sun rays crept into the room, casting a cozy light over the living room. The house was quiet, except for Joel's snoring.  His arm was still tight around my waist and I moved away slowly, afraid to wake him up.

I rubbed my face with my hands and I felt my cheeks turning pink, remembering the dream I had of him. The dream felt so real and I swear I could still taste his lips. My body felt hot, like I could still feel his touch on my body.  Although it was just a dream, I still felt guilty. I shouldn't even dream of Joel that way. 

I looked over at Joel, deciding if I should wake him up so that he could sleep peacefully in his bed but I decided not to. After I dreamt of him, I couldn't bear to talk to him. Besides, I didn't want to deal with grumpy Joel in the early morning. I left him on the couch, running as quietly as I could to my room. I needed to forget about this dream as fast as I could.

***

Sarah knows how to talk to people in a way that they could agree with her. I found myself at a college party where I knew no one, except for Sarah. She begged me for hours before I agreed on coming to the party full of strangers but eventually, I gave up. I used to go out a lot with her when we were around 17-20 but when I got older, I enjoyed the quiet time more. And I enjoyed the parties where I knew people who were around me.

I had to admit, it was fun getting ready with her. She did my makeup since I wasn't really good at it and helped me pick the best outfit. It was like the good old times. And I thought a party was a good idea to forget about a dream I had of Joel and any feelings towards him. 

"Don't worry, Emily is a nice girl,"Sarah said, seeing my doubtful look.

"Are these people all from your class?"I ask Sarah, looking around us.

Sarah nods. "Yeah, mainly. Some people took their dates too but mostly these are people from my class."

Sarah smiled at a blonde girl who was standing next to the speaker, talking to the DJ. She was dressed in an expensive dress and her makeup was neat. She spotted Sarah and me, giving us a warm smile.

"Is that Emily over there?"I asked Sarah, taking a drink from her.

"Yeah, that is Emily."

The party was nice but I still couldn't forget about the dream I had. Hanging out with Sarah didn't make it easier either. I blamed myself for having any sort of feelings towards her father and with every drink I had, I tried to forget. I danced all night with a guy named Alex who was really nice towards me.