Darkest Desires [Joel Miller]

13

Joel

The dim light in the hallway spilled into the living room, revealing Daisy's silhouette, comfortably sleeping on the couch. The clock on the wall ticked away the minutes, marking the late hour when I finally returned home. The air smelled of Daisy's homemade lasagna which was left untouched on the kitchen table.

Sighing, I approached the couch. Daisy weighed nothing and I gently took her in my arms, taking her to her bed. The blanket that I have gifted her was laying at the end of the bed and I took it, placing it on her body. Suddenly Daisy shifted through her sleep, slowly opening her eyes.

"Oh, Joel,"she mumbled, rubbing her eyes. "What time is it?"

"Late,"I said, avoiding her eyes. "You fell asleep on the couch and I brought you here."

Daisy sat up, yawning and I couldn't help myself but notice the way her hair fell in disarray, framing her face in a way that was endearing but also disconcerting.  

"I'm sorry,"she apologized, looking at me. "You must be tired from work. You could've just left me on the couch."

"It's fine. Don't worry."

The moonlight shined through the curtains, lingering on her face. Once again, I couldn't hold myself back and I placed a strand of hair behind her ear. Even the smallest amount of connection with her skin made me shiver inside. My gaze stopped on her lips and the desire to kiss her was so strong. So strong that it was hard to fight back. Damn it, Joel. I promised myself it won't happen again. 

But in the darkness of the room, I couldn't keep that promise. In one quick move I reached out for her and our lips collided. With just one touch - one single moment - I knew I was going to break that promise over and over again. There was nothing gentle about this kiss and every thought, every warning in my head, exploded to a pure desire. Pure desire that I haven't felt in a long time. I knew it was wrong but at that moment, her lips against mine felt so right. 

She pulled away for a second to breathe and our eyes met again. She wanted to say something but before she could, I placed my index finger on her lips. 

 "You don't have to say anything."

Daisy chuckled softly. "This is your way of staying away?"

"I know, I fucked up. Again."

"We both fucked up,"Daisy admitted. "But I don't regret anything." 

"You don't regret it?"I asked, my voice low.

Daisy met my gaze, her eyes unyielding. "No, I don't. We can't keep denying what's happening, Joel."

Part of me wanted to argue, to reinforce the boundaries that had been shattered once again. But another part of me, a part I tried to bury deep inside me, acknowledged the undeniable truth in her words. 

Daisy reached out, her fingers gently tracing the lines of my face, leaving a trail of warmth in their wake. "Joel, we're both adults. We can handle whatever comes our way."

I knew the consequences of crossing this line, the potential fallout with her father, the complications that awaited us if we continued like this. I didn't wanted to lose my friendship with her father. 

But in that stolen moment, with her fingers entwined with mine, the consequences seemed distant, overshadowed by the overwhelming need to be close to her.

"I can't promise this won't happen again," I admitted, my voice betraying the conflict within.

Daisy's smile was a mixture of understanding and defiance. "Then, let's stop making promises we can't keep."

And in the quiet darkness of her room, with the moon as our only witness, I couldn't deny my feelings towards her. These were my darkest desires that should be buried deep inside me but they were hard to ignore.  

There was tension in the room. Daisy's fingers lingered on mine, and as she smiled, a subtle understanding passed between us.

"I should go,"I said, my voice strained with a mixture of regret and desire.

Daisy nodded, releasing my hand. "Joel, I don't regret anything."

With a heavy sigh, I closed the door behind me. As I made my way back to my bedroom, I couldn't escape the feeling that this was just the beginning.