Darkest Desires [Joel Miller]

20

The moment Tommy rushed out of the room and Joel followed him to explain everything, I started packing my suitcases. If Tommy knew, Sarah would know too, sooner or later. And then my parents... I didn't want to think about my dad's reaction. It would be best if I left.

We fucked up. Badly.

"Daisy, what are you doing?"

I didn't hear when Joel came back. He stood in the doorway, his arms crossed. I threw my clothes into the suitcases, not caring if they were folded or not.

"I'm leaving,"I answered, wiping tears. "If Tommy knows, he will tell Sarah too. It's best if I leave."

"I asked Tommy not to tell Sarah,"he whispered, taking my hands into his. "Tommy wasn't very fond of the idea of us being together and he was confused, angry. But he promised to keep it from Sarah."

"Joel, we are not going to work,"I said, hitting him with a hard truth. "I want us to work, I really do but... We both know we won't work."

"You can't say that,"Joel said, squeezing my hands. "You're everything I want, Daisy."

I didn't realize until now how tears started to roll down my cheeks. I looked down at our hands, trying to stay calm. He placed his fingers under my chin, lifting it up gently.

"Please, Daisy... We will figure out everything,"he whispered, wiping my tears with his thumb. "Besides, where are you going to stay?"

"I've saved up money, I can find a place."

"Please stay, Daisy,"he whispered, his voice raw with emotion. "Everything will work out. I will not let you go."

As Joel's words echoed in the room, I couldn't help but feel torn. His touch, his pleading gaze, they stirred emotions within me that I struggled to suppress. But deep down, I knew he was right. Our situation was complicated, fraught with risks and uncertainties. As much as I wanted for us to work, reality stood against our desires.

"I appreciate your optimism, Joel,"I began, my voice wavering with uncertainty. "But we can't ignore the reality of the situation. We crossed a line that we can't uncross. It's not just about us anymore; it's about Sarah, and Tommy, and my dad..."

He sighed, his grip on my hands tightening. "I know it's complicated, Daisy. But I can't bear the thought of you leaving. I need you here, with me."

Part of me longed to stay, to cling onto the fragile hope that maybe, just maybe, we could find a way to make it work. But another part, a rational part, whispered warnings of the inevitable heartache that awaited us.

Tears welled up in my eyes again as I struggled to find the right words. "I wish it were that simple, Joel. But there are too many people involved now. I can't bear the thought of causing more pain for everyone."

For a moment, there was silence between us as we both grappled with the weight of the situation. Then, Joel let out a heavy sigh, releasing my hands and stepping back.

"I won't stop you if that's what you truly want,"he said softly, kissing my nuckles. "But just know that my door will always be open for you, Daisy. No matter what happens."

I nodded, unable to speak due to the lump in my throat. With a heavy heart, I zipped up my suitcases and hoisted them off the bed, ready to face whatever awaited me outside those doors. As I made my way to the door, I couldn't bear to look back, knowing I won't get to kiss him or hold him again. But amidst the pain and uncertainty, a glimmer of hope lingered—a hope that someday, somehow, we might find our way back to each other.