now that we don't talk [tom blyth]

17.

The New York sunrise shone through the windows of my bedroom, piercing my eyes and causing me to groan at the sight. I caught a glimpse of the clock on the wall reading not quite 7am. The arms wrapped tight around my body stopped me from rolling over or getting out of bed but I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it. I nestled myself further into his embrace, enjoying another few moments of rest before I got up for work.

"Are you at the office today?" Tom's morning voice grumbled right behind my ears and I swooned at the sound. I nodded, finally turning around to face him. His eyes were still shut, his lips softly parted, inviting me in for a kiss.

"Yeah, I am," I whispered, planting another kiss on his lips. His eyes pried open, the blue in them glowing from the sun. A frowned appeared on his face.

"Why?" I just rolled my eyes at the boy.

"Because I have to," as I placed another kiss on his lips and pulled out of his embrace to get out of bed. I heard Tom groan and roll over.

"That's shit," I chuckled at the childishness of his response.

I made my way to the bathroom and hopped in the shower, doing my makeup and hair for work when I got out. As I walked back into the bedroom wearing only a towel, I noticed Tom appeared to have fallen asleep again. I left him, quickly getting changed and going downstairs. I quickly made a bagel, shoving it in my mouth as I walked out the front door and headed to the office.

Mia was on me like the plague the moment the elevator doors opened.

"You've got that post sex glow," I almost spat the last mouthful of my bagel out at her forwardness. Thankfully I was 30 minutes early for work and the office was practically empty, besides one of the news guys seated right at the back.

"Seriously, fuck off," I laughed at the girl as I made my way to my desk.

I sat myself down, unpacking my laptop and belongings when my phone pinged on the desk.

Tom: Dinner tonight at mine at 6. I'll see you later, have the most beautiful day. Here's the address x

I just smiled, sending back a thank you and placing it back on the desk. I spent most of the morning plowing through the emails that had been piling up over the last few days before I go to work on the next project I had coming up - the premiere for Wonka.

My manager had asked me quite some time ago to go to the premiere, this time only in Los Angeles which was a relief as I couldn't stand to think about the flight to London or somewhere else. Berlin was bad enough and I dreaded ever flying long hauls again because of it. At least this one was a short trip from my house, maybe a couple of hours on a plane.

I started planning through my interview schedules that I had been emailed, and the itinerary for the red carpet. The whole day was long and gruelling. I barely moved from my desk, only popping out to use the toilet or fill up my water bottle. Before I knew it, the sun was setting in the distance of the window and the time read 4:20pm.

I packed everything into my bag and darted home, quickly showering so I could get ready to go to Tom's for dinner. I was freaking out - I didn't know what the vibe of this dinner was, what to wear, whether it was fancy or 'wear your pyjamas' type of arrangement and before I knew it I was heavy breathing and throwing clothes across my bedroom floor.

He had no idea what he did to me. The stress, lust, overwhelming sense of 'I don't want to fuck this up' looming over every single decision I ever made. I felt like everything I said or did had to be perfectly calculated and decided. I sat on the floor and called Mia who picked up almost immediately.

"Stop fucking freaking out," she said the moment she heard my heaving voice, "seriously. Take a deep breath." I followed her direction, taking a deep breath and focusing on my stomach as I settled into the floor.

"What are you stressing about?"

"Tom invited me to his place for dinner. I don't know whether I am meant to dress up, or wear casual. I don't want to be over or underdressed. I am freaking out, Mia," I sighed out.

I heard Mia laugh, "You are such a drama queen. Why don't you just text him?"

"Don't be stupid," I scoffed.

"No, you shouldn't be so stupid. You used to date him, you practically are now. Just ask him what the vibe is, he will know you are sitting here freaking out over it," she laughed and I just sighed, knowing she was right.

I guess what comes with 'dating' your ex is they know your ins and outs and flaws. I used to have this same breakdown every time we went anywhere together, not wanting to be over dressed or under dressed or look straight up fucking stupid.

"Okay," I muttered out, pulling my phone from my ear and typing out a frantic text asking what the vibe was for tonight. Tom replied almost immediately.

Tom: Stop freaking out, wear whatever you want, but I am just wearing sweats X

"Mia, he is wearing sweats," I announced down the phone, taking an exaggerated breath as she continued to laugh at me. She continued to speak on the phone on speaker whilst I pulled on some soft sweat shorts and a t-shirt. Mia ended up hanging up to go out for dinner, wishing me a brief good luck and "enjoy the sex" as she ended the call.

I piled out of my apartment and into a taxi I had ordered that was waiting out front. I probably could have just walked but the cool air was too much for me and I didn't want half of NYC seeing me in my pyjamas. They stopped outside a building, not too big, at the end of a street. It was tucked away from the busyness of the city, but close enough that you still get the experience of it.

I stepped out, paying the driver and making my way to the building. I triple checked the text from Tom before buzzing into the building and being let up. When I made it to the door, Tom was standing with it open waiting for me.

"Hi," I stopped in the doorway facing him, a grin spreading on his face.

"Hi beautiful," he leant down and placed a soft kiss on my lips, causing my cheeks to flush.

He let me through the door, shutting it behind me, as I took in the whole room. A beautiful apartment placed on the top floor on the building. The ceilings were tall and had windows that looked over the quiet streets, but you could see the busier streets just over a few blocks. His kitchen, living and dining were all one room, creating an open space, decorated with this urban oasis style of design that fit Tom oh-so perfectly.

He was back in the kitchen, stirring a pot of something. He already had ready two glasses of wine on the bench behind him. I put my bag onto the couch and walked over to the kitchen, picking up one of the glasses of wine and sipping it.

"Oh my god, you got my favourite!" I exclaimed and Tom turned around to see the grin on my face. He stopped stirring and came to stand by me, also taking a sip before tapping it against the side of my glass.

"Of course I did, would be rude if I didn't," he said with a joking roll of the eyes.

"How was work?"

I paused to think for a second. "I mean, long, tiring, I was preparing for the premiere soo-"

Tom stopped in his tracks. "Premiere?"

Shit I forgot to mention it, "Yeah, the Wonka premiere in LA. It's in a week or two." Tom didn't reply, just kept his gaze on the food in front of him. "Sorry, I didn't mention it before."

Silence fell over us. I felt guilty for not saying anything before now, forgetting that one thing that drove Tom mad was failed communication. I had already disappointed him without telling him about the interviews with him, and now here I was forgetting to tell him about this.

"I am sorry I didn't tell you." I saw Tom shrug his shoulders, "It's fine."

"It's not Tom, I should have said something but I found out a while ago and it didn't cross my mind." He just shrugged again.

"Please don't give me the silent treatment," I pleaded, tears welling in my eyes. He turned, his eyes widening at my frightened state, coming over and pulling me into a hug. I let a tear slip down my cheek in his embrace.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to upset you. I just don't want you to leave again."

The tears were free falling now.