now that we don't talk [tom blyth]

21.

My shakey hands were enclosed tightly in Tom's. My dress felt too tight, too itchy, too revealing, as I fidgeted around the back seat of the Uber. Sweat hung on the back of my neck for dear life, fighting the cool aircon that was causing me to have hot and cold flushes. Tom's hand was curled around my knee to try and stop it from bouncing. It was hardly working.

When we stopped outside the house and stepped out of the car, my legs carried me to the front door quicker than I knew possible. I felt a hand grab my bicep gently and pull me back, stopping me in my tracks but my heart still racing. Face to face with Tom, his ocean blue eyes melted my own.

"Kira, take a breath," he whispered, taking a deep breath himself so I would copy. My body softened into the ground through my feet. His hand around my arm slipped up to the back of my neck and cupped it under my hair. His thumb slid up to my jaw and caressed it softly and to my lips as my breaths became longer and deeper. He placed his lips on mine, pulling back slowly before pecking my nose, grabbing my hand and pulling me up to the front door.

We found ourselves at Hunter's front door, Tom knocking on the door and me beside him, shifting in my place and staring at the ground. The sound of the door opening pulled my gaze up and instinct pulled me to stand just behind Tom, still gripping his hand. A smile spread across Hunter's face as she pulled Tom into a hug, his hand detaching from mine. I heard them exchange 'I miss you's' before they pulled back. Her eyes shifted to me, narrowing slightly causing my heart to race a little quicker.

"Hunter, this is my girlfriend, Kira." He said softly, causing a grin to spread across her cheeks. She squealed, pulling me tightly into a hug unexpectedly.

"I knew he was in love with you," she spoke loudly, and I heard Tom chuckle beside me. I wasn't sure what she meant by it but I laughed with them so as to not be awkward around them. Hunter pulled us both into the house where I could hear Josh and Rachel laughing from the dining room.

My eyes floated around the place in awe. The wood-burning brick fireplace crackled in the entryway, a stark difference from the cool, winter air outside. The dining table was adjacent to the kitchen, which was adorned with vintage appliances that I had no doubt Hunter had sourced herself from various markets and thrift shops. The place felt open, yet warm and comfortable and my heart rate was slowing right down to match the energy of the house. Music played softly from the built-in speakers that provided background noise to the conversations happening at the table. As we passed through to the dining area, both Rachel and Josh looked up and smiled at us. Rachel leapt from her seat, rushing over to me and pulling me into a hug before turning to Tom with a smug grin.

"I knew it," she pointed at him, and from the corner of my eye, I could see him grin at the shorter girl. Josh pulled him into a hug once Rachel moved to the side before turning to me.

"Rachel, Josh, this is Kira, my girlfriend." I watched as Rachel's grin grew larger before she pulled both of us into a hug together.

The excitement died for a moment as we made our way to the table where Hunter had laid out cheese, crackers and dips to nibble on. Rachel and Josh sat on the side with three chairs, leaving Tom and I to sit opposite, just the two of us along that side of the table. As we sat, I felt Tom's hand sneak over my knee, giving it a squeeze before leaving it to rest. The warmth of his touch sent comfort around my body, a safety net, and a reminder that nothing will go wrong as long as he is here.

Hunter poured out some glasses of wine before sitting next to Rachel opposite us. Suddenly, I felt like all eyes were on me in anticipation of an explanation or something about why Tom was dating one of the journalist's. Hunter was the first to speak.

"You interviewed us, didn't you? A couple of weeks ago?" Her soft voice assured me this was less of an interrogation and more trying to get things straight in their minds about who I was. I nodded, picking up my glass and taking a sip of the red wine.

"Yeah, I did," I spoke with confidence, placing my glass back down.

"I knew it, I could tell something was going on. I saw the way he looked at you when we walked in the room, it wouldn't take a genius to work it out," Rachel spoke up, her eyes darting between Tom and I with excitement. I looked at Tom, his pearly white teeth on show as he smiled at Rachel's joy. His hand squeezed my knee again before he tore his gaze away.

"We weren't actually dating then," Tom started, "this is only a recent thing." I could see the three of their faces laced with confusion, intermittantly sipping wine and waiting for more.

"We used to date, a while ago. That interview day was the first I saw of Tom in months," I spoke up, "we have sort of rekindled things from there," I shrugged.

"I am happy for you both," Josh said, raising his glass as we all clinked them together. I wasn't exactly sure what we were celebrating but I went with it anyway before they all started chattering away about their jobs.

I sat there quietly, listening in and staring at Tom in between. His eyes glimmered under the lights and the burning of the fireplace behind him. He would occasionally grab something to eat, and even watching the way his jaw moved whilst he chewed was mesmorising. Occasionally, he would look over at me and flash a reassuring smile, squeeze my knee, or when they would get up to go to the kitchen or bathroom, plant a kiss on my cheek.

Hunter brought dinner over and we all sat in a near silence, enjoying the food and a moment to ourselves. Tom's hand never left my knee, a constant reminder that no matter what, he was there and wasn't leaving again.

-

The table had cleared, Hunter off in the bathroom, Rachel on the phone, and Josh clearing up. I stood in the kitchen, running a hot tap into the sink and starting to wash the dishes when I felt two arms wrap around my waist, a kiss planted to the side of my neck.

"You know, Hunter will be annoyed you are doing this," he mumbled against my neck.

"It's the least I can do," I shrugged, turning off the tap and placing more clean dishes onto the drying rack. Tom hummed against my neck. He pulled away, standing beside me and finding a dish towel to start drying the dishes.

"I told you it would be fine," I could see him smiling beside me and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my own face.

"I know."

"I know that you probably think they'll see me dating you as weird, but they don't care, and you shouldn't either. You mean the world to me and that is all that matters," the colour of my cheeks turned red and my heart began to race a little quicker.

Hunter came back in the room, pushing me out of the kitchen and telling me I 'must be stupid to think she would let me do the dishes'. I laughed, going back to the table and sitting facing the kitchen. Tom and Hunter spoke next to each other, laughing and smiling, Josh joining in when he placed more dishes on the counter. Their friendship brought joy to my face, and seeing the grin on Rachel's face as she came back in the house made it all the more obvious that the love here was special and I couldn't help but feel I was interferring or overstaying my welcome. The anxiety shot up my spine, making me shift uncomfortably in my seat and staring at my fingers.

"Kira!" Hunter called out over the counter, her hand beckoning me over, "come sit outside with us."

Outside was a beautiful in-ground fire pit, cushions planted on benches that were built around it. Tom grabbed my hand and pulled me to sit next to him. I had removed my jacket inside and the cold air of the night was replaced by an immediate warmth from the fire that crackled in front of us. Tom pulled my shoulders in close to him, planting a kiss on my forehead. I wanted to feel safe, comfortable, happy, belonging, yet I couldn't help the overbearing feeling that this flashing moments of content were only temporary.