now that we don't talk [tom blyth]

18.

"You could come with me, you know?" I placed my fork on the plate and took a sip of wine. Tom just looked at me with confusion on his face.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," I paused to take a sip of water, "I always stay in a hotel alone, work just pay for it. Same with my flights, but if you just paid for flights you could come and stay with me and we could have a weekend away?"

I could see him thinking about it, a brightness in his eyes as he thought about us going away together again. It was reminiscent of our time spent together before - we'd spend most weekends going on trips and out in little forest cabins so we could be alone.

"I guess so, I mean, I'm not working at the moment," he shrugged and I decided to leave it at that. I didn't want to overwhelm him or push too hard. Whilst we agreed to move slowly for me, it was for him too and I didn't want him to walk away again.

I felt like I was on eggshells, waiting for it to all crack apart again and lose everything. We were back in the honeymoon phase and my biggest fear was losing the chance to fix it all again and for there to be a future between us. Tom was so special to me and brought immense joy to my world that losing him for a second time haunted me.

We didn't speak about it again, not even when we crawled into bed that night. He pulled me into a cuddle and we fell asleep in each other's arms.

When I woke up, Tom wasn't there. The bed was empty, there was no noise of a shower or anything. Silence hung over the entire room so loudly that I was scared to even make a movement. I slowly pushed the sheets off of my body and stood up, creeping slowly to the door and cracking it open. My heart felt like it was in my throat, the fear of being alone taking over my body as it dawned on me that Tom may have just left me. I tried to ignore the faint sounds of my heart breaking as I crept down the hallway, only to be met with Tom standing shirtless in the kitchen, flipping an egg and surrounded by, what I believed would end up being, breakfast. I let out a sigh of relief that jolted Tom to turn around as he made eye contact with me.

"Shit, you scared me," I chuckled at his words, walking over and wrapping my arms around his waist, planting my cheek against his back. "Payback," I said, my words muffled by his body and I felt him shake as he laughed.

I pulled off to let him finish making breakfast as he placed a plate of food in front of me. We sat beside each other on the barstools, slowly eating the food in front of us.

"So, I was thinking-"

"Oh no."

"Shut up. Anyway, I was thinking I might actually come to LA with you." My heart fluttered furiously at his words. I turned to him, a grin spread on my face.

"Really?"

"Yeah, and I was speaking to Hunter, Rachel and Josh and they're all going to be there so we could go for dinner or something with them?" My smile dropped. I wasn't sure how I felt about going for dinner with them all, as a couple. I wasn't sure if they knew about us, whether I wanted to go out in public not only with Tom, but also with the whole cast of one of the most popular movies right now. That was a recipe for disaster and not one that I was convinced was a good idea. The stress of the paparazzi, fans, people, the media, people working out that I work for Variety, people putting two-and-two together about the premiere, my head was spinning in circles with not a single thought processing in a linear fashion. I felt a soft hand on my shoulder.

"What are you thinking about babe?" I sighed deeply, looking over at Tom. His beautiful blue eyes stared into mine, the stare laced with concern and love.

"I'm scared," I whispered. "I don't know if I am ready for people to know about us, especially the public because they'll see us. The media."

"Why is this time different from before?"

"Everything."

Silence fell over us as we uncomfortably finished our food and put our dishes away. I immediately ran up the stairs and started to shove my clothes into my bag so I could leave as soon as possible before I was stopped in the bedroom door by Tom. The look on his face told me he was both shocked and disappointed by my desperate attempt to leave before the conversation could finish. I felt my heart begin to race, sweat starting to pool under my arms.

"You can't just run away," he said firmly, not budging from the doorway. I didn't say anything, just looking down and away from his gaze. "Can we sit and talk about it?" I just nodded and he followed me to the edge of the bed. We sat next to each other, my bag placed in my lap as I waited for him to break the silence.

"First of all, stop running away when the conversation is a little difficult. If we are going to make this work, you also need to work on things, and that's one of them. Got it?" I just nodded along. "Second, I want you to meet them because they are my close friends and you being, well, I'm not actually sure what we are, but an important person in my life, I want them to know about you and to value you the way I do. Also, we will go to a quiet restaurant, in fact, I will speak to Hunter about having dinner at her house. How does that sound?" I continued to nod along, not saying a word.

His hand found my knee, causing electricity to shoot up my spine at his touch. My posture softened and I leaned my head against his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around me and planted a kiss on my forehead.

"Kira, if I am committed to making this work, you need to be too. That means talking to me. I could never be mad at you, so please, just talk to me," and a soft tear rolled down my cheek.

- 

"Okay, the hotel is booked and so are the flights. Work will obviously pay for my flight and hotel so if you just send me your flight." We were sat at the dining table, my laptop open and Tom sat opposite me on his phone, nodding along. "We leave Friday, come back Monday night."

"Cool, I'll talk to Hunter about doing dinner on Saturday?" he questioned and I nodded to answer. "Have you got all your stuff prepped?"

I flicked over to my document on my computer, scanning over the notes I had made for all the interviews. Thankfully, I was only responsible for the red carpet, as another journalist was responsible for the sit-down interviews. I nodded at Tom and he flashed a smile. "Have I told you how proud of you I am?"

My cheeks started to flush red at his words. "I appreciate it. I am proud of you too."