YOU'RE LOSING ME ✦ WOLVERINE

PROLOGUE

THE SOUND OF the subway train on the tracks drowned out Clara's thoughts spiraling in her head. She ignored every other passenger on the train around her. Ignored the weird looks, the stares. She supposed it wasn't normal for a woman to be riding the subway alone in a wedding dress and a lawn chair in hand.

She felt like a joke. Like the universe was playing one big joke on her.

Wait your entire life, another five years, and you'll never have him anyway.

How many years of her life had she spent pining over that stupid man? Too many years. She knew that now. Logan had been right calling Bucky a spineless loser all those years ago, when they used to sit in the bar together after work and drink.

She should've just said yes to him when he'd offered up her heart to her three months ago, in her kitchen. Shouldn't have said yes to Bucky when he called her. She probably would've been a lot happier than she was right now.

Finally, the train came to a stop, and she got off, silently making her way through the crowds and up the stairs, back into society. She shifted her weight every now and then to make sure the chair didn't get caught on her wedding dress. Christ, her mother's wedding dress.

This was most certainly the worst day she'd had in a very long time.

She walked down the streets as silent as a ghost. There were too many and too little thoughts in her head, she was too overwhelmed with what had just happened.

She finally reached the cemetery, and began looking for her father's headstone. God, her life felt like a joke. What was the point of all of these years?

Eventually, she reached David's headstone, and set up her chair. Hiking her skirts up, she sat down and stretched her legs out in front of her. She laid her head back, and looked up at the blue skies. Blue, like Bucky's eyes.

Scrunching her eyes shut, her head hurt. Thinking about Bucky hurt too much. She had loved him so much, but had she really loved him as much as she thought? She'd spent more time with Logan than she ever had with Bucky.

Bucky had been split up so much over time. But Logan had been a constant for years with an excusable absence.

It was a perfect spring day. She was surprised that none of her family members had followed her out the door when she had left, stealing money from Jamie for the chair. She had left her phone and only grabbed her wallet, which was stashed in the pocket of her dress.

Logan knew her so well. Knew that she would need time alone before everyone came running to her rescue. Kiera was the same, so they were probably together, waiting somewhere for her.

The kids were all probably freaking out, but all probably equally cleaning up the mess left behind.

She remembered the look on Jamie's face when he had come to tell them the news. The look on Kiera's face, as she looked over at Clara to figure out how to tell her that Bucky wasn't coming.

Goddammit, it should've been Logan.

Clara was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't hear the footsteps on the grass coming towards her. "Oh, my," A voice suddenly said. "Please don't tell me it's your anniversary?"

That brought an unexpected chuckle out of Clara. She opened her eyes, and looked back down, seeing a man wearing a ski mask and black clothes covering every inch of him.

"Seeing as neither of us are appropriately dressed for a cemetery," Clara responded, "to answer your question, no, it's not my anniversary. I'm visiting my father. I wished to hear his advice."

The stranger nodded, and Clara could see through the only holes in the mask, the eyes, that his squinted slightly. "Mind if I sit with you?" He asked. She gestured her approval, and then settled back into her chair.

"Mind me asking why you're dressed like that in a cemetery?" Clara asked, and he chuckled slightly.

"I don't think my uniform would've been any more appropriate. So I settled for black, it's for mourning, anyways. But I lost a friend a while ago, and I was visiting them." He leaned back on his hands, looking up at the sky. "He would've thought I was being a sappy fuck."

Clara chuckled at that. "I was supposed to get married today," She said, and looked over at the stranger. "But he stood me up."

"At the altar?" He asked, aghast. She nodded, and he shook his head. "Damn, what a dumbass. Sorry about the language. But he's a fucking idiot."

"Don't worry. At least one of us can say it. I just feel...So fucking stupid. I wasted too much of my life on him." Clara responded. "I shouldn't have tried to marry him, after he was gone for five years."

"Ah, he was one of those?" The stranger asked. Clara nodded. "I see, then. Some of my friends were, too. But not the one I was visiting. He died a couple of years before the 'snap.'"

"I lost practically my entire family," Clara admitted. "If it wasn't for one of my closest friends coming to my aid, I don't know how I would've survived."

"Yeah," The stranger quietly agreed. "I don't know how any of us survived that."

"Sorry to be so doom and gloom," Clara apologized, and then stuck her left hand out. "Clara Bayton. And you are?"

"Promise not to tell anyone?" He asked, and Clara laughed, replying, "Oh, I can keep a secret, trust me. I don't even know what your face looks like, anyway!"

She felt as though he must have smiled at that, because the bottom of his mask moved. He stuck a gloved hand in hers, shaking gently. "Wade Wilson."

"Nice to meet you, Wade. Maybe one day we'll see each other again." Clara said, and then stood up from her chair. "Also, do you want this chair? I bought it in my mindless state on the way here."

Wade laughed. "Sure, I'll take it, what the hell. I'm sure Al will love it."

"Is Al your roommate?" Clara asked, and Wade nodded. "Well, good. I hope it gets lots of good use. See you around, Wade!"

She started down the path towards the exit, then turned around and waved one more time. Wade looked over at her, and gave her a gloved wave as well.

Maybe things would be okay. She had the right people now. So maybe she could get through it.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

The moment the doorman saw her through the glass of her building, he opened the door for her and ushered her inside. "Glad to see you alright, miss Bayton!"

She gave him an appreciative smile, and quietly replied, "Thank you."

She walked towards her elevator, and boarded, silent as a ghost once more. When she finally reached her floor at the top, she stepped out into the hallway to see the wall across from her covered in boxes.

Oh god...Was Bucky here? Right now? She couldn't handle that kind of interaction right now.

Inching a bit closer to the door, she heard someone sprint towards the door. Right as she paused at the open door frame, Logan appeared before her, slightly out of breath.

"All of Bucky's stuff has been cleared out," He said breathlessly. "Kiera and I came here and started cleaning as soon as you left the church, so you wouldn't have to do it."

Clara stared up at him, this man who had hatched such a considerate plan with her best friend.

"It should have been you," She whispered, looking into his eyes. "It should have been you, Logan."