Bear

Chapter 21: Bear

Chopper kicks the door closed behind him, his arms full with three paper bags with some fast food logo printed on the side. He digs in the bag, pulling out another greasier paper bag before flinging it at me. "Breakfast is served."

I sit up with a groan, rifling through the contents of the bag. An English muffin with eggs, sausage and bacon, a double cheeseburger, and a spicy BBQ wrap with chips. Breakfast of kings.

"Where's the coffee?"

Chopper hands me a far too small takeaway cup, seating from the small opening in the lid. I take a hearty gulp— it tastes like but the caffeine hit is enough to temporarily distract me from the pain in my neck and back from this motel's shitty mattress.

We'd been on the road following the trail for the last few days, stopping only for a few hours at a time in shitty motels to get some sleep. The best night of sleep I'd gotten was when we'd stopped off at one of our sister charters closer to the country to trade in our bikes for a SUV.

Not that I'd really slept all that much since leaving the club— since leaving Birdie.

I can't help but to replay our last conversation over and over again, recall the way she looked at me with that disappointed defeat, the way she accused me of treating her no better than a soul eater. Then she threatened to move her shit out my room.

I'd be lying if I didn't admit part of me hadn't wanted to egg her on, to tell her to get her shit out and see if I cared; only the larger part of me knows that I would. I fucking would.

I know that I'd kept her at arms length some of the time, but it's for her own damn safety. Only when it comes to Robin her stubbornness is unparalleled, she can not— will not— take no for an answer.

But I can't go against my club; they are my family, they're all I have.

Still in the middle of the night, my body searches for her in the empty sheets; during the day my fingers twitch with the desire–the need– to call her, just so that I can hear her voice. Every moment of every day, my mind draws back to her in some way or the other.

Even with this damn bounty, the most important reason I can think of for finishing it is so that Robin might be safe from a bastard like 'Triple T.' My driving motivation to keep going: the faster we get this job done, the faster I can see her again.

She has taken over every part of me, there is no way I can deny that. This alone is proof that there's no going back to life without her. I can think of no greater torture, than having to let her go.

As soon as I see her again, I'm going to take her on a ride, do something nice for her; show her that she's more to me than just her body. It didn't feel good to have her accuse me of using her like that, but the more that I consider everything we've been through, I can't actually say she was wrong to.

But that'll change.

I'd told her the constant never knowing, one day I'm there and the next I'm gone is just a part of club life but that didn't have to be true. I could ask Pres to assign me a different role, one that wouldn't need me to go on runs so often. I may not be able to tell her what the club has going on, but it didn't mean that I couldn't give her a heads up about things that might happen in the future.

We can make it work, I can make it work.

First I have to hope that she hasn't already written me off. For all I know the fact that she's not sent even a text in the last 4 days means that she's moved out and on from my life.

"You think we should start knocking down doors?" Chopper jokes, cutting off my distracted train of thought. "There's a couple soul eaters back home I haven't tried yet."