Little Concessions (Rick and Morty Fanfic)

Chapter Sixteen - Meeseeks and Destroy

"Yeah, Morty, this is the part of the story everybody loves... scaling down 650,000 oversized steps." Rick said as we climbed down the 5th step, it can't be that many... can it? This man can never stop complaining, can he? Reminds me of Summer.

"Alright, ok, y-you know, if this was a story, this part wouldn't be included, stupid!" Morty argued back at his grandfather, giving him the same attitude as he was giving us. Before Rick could say anymore, I looked down and noticed a sign, pointing to a small door in the step as we got down. The sign said "The Thirsty Step", I noticed two barrels beside it.

"Hey, guys, look over here. There's some kind of tavern or something built right into the side of the step!" I said with relief, hoping to take a break from climbing, my hands are a little sore.

"Ha, well w-w-what do you know, Rick?" Morty said smirking as he reached the bottom. Rick sighed, leaping down and walking to the door.

"I'm so parched." I said.

"Me too. Let's go."

"Ugh..." shut up, Rick. Morty than opened the doors to the tavern, looking around as I did. I noticed a lot of people... or staircases or other individuals that didn't look human, sitting at tables and walking around, talking... Yeah, live staircases with legs and faces... Ok, new to me, probably not new to Rick and Morty. The room was filled with laughter and chatter, something in their smelled great, chicken or freshly baked bread.

"Oh wow, guys. Now this is more like it! Look, there's little staircase-shaped people in here."

"A-all kinds of crazy characters!" I added.

"This place is great, you know? It's whimsical and fun." Morty asked walking towards an empty table with me. Rick couldn't care less as he let out a plain meh... before trying to pick a fight with one of the staircase people who was staring at him.

"What're you looking at, motherfucker!" He asked, throwing his hands on their table. Morty quickly stepped over and pulled him away.

"Easy, Rick!" He said to him, yeah let's start a barfight in a place that's foreign to us... maybe end up getting someone killed and get arrested in staircase prison. We sat down at an empty booth. A waitress noticed us and walked over to our table with a tiny notepad.

"Oh, pay them no mind. Those stair goblins can be moody. Now, what can I getcha? We've got skarlog poppies, flurlow, halzingers, bloogies, juicy time babies-"

"Yeah-yeah-yeah, h-how about some scotch whiskey? You got any of that around here?" Rick ask, throwing his palm on his forehead, "Or a bunch of nonsense words?"

"Rick..."

"We'll have three bloogies please." I said to her, she then started to jot them down in her tiny notepad.

"And, uh, we were wondering, is there a faster way three heroes could get down these stairs?" Morty asked, and a second after he asked that, someone sitting at the booth behind us spoke up, startling Morty a little.

"Y'all need to ride down the stairs? My name is Slippely-Slippery Stair!" As he spoke, he was slightly spitting left and right, he must not have any bones because he almost couldn't quite control his head movement. Reason why I think this is because his head was flopping all around, even forward and onto the side of our booth.

"I'll take you down there for 25 shmeckels!" He finished, getting out of his booth and allowing us to see his whole body. He had white gloved hands in the front of his body and a saddle on his back, three seats. That's perfect!

"25 shmeckels? I-I-I don't know how much-- I don't know what that is. Is that a lot? A little?"

"That's exactly how much I spent on my big fake boobies." The waitress said as she jiggled her chest a little bit, Morty couldn't stop staring, I almost couldn't either.

"Hi, I'm Mr. Booby Buyer," A worm like character came almost out of nowhere, "I'll buy those boobies for 25 shmeckels."

"Well, it's a tempting offer, but I'm gonna have to decline." She said before walking away from the booth and to fix up our order.

"Rats! What a shame." He said, then quickly slithering away. Nevermind, crawling away like a spider.

"Morty, your adventure's in a spiral. For real, man, time to pull out."

"You keep heckling my adventure, Rick! You know why?" Morty asks. Rising from his seat a little.

"Uhhh, because it's lame?"

"Its because you're petty! You know, h-how many times have I had to follow you into some nonsensical bull crap? I always roll with the punches, Rick! Why can't you?" Morty said as he got up from the table. All Rick did in return was frown deeply and stare.

"Look, I gotta take a leak, and when I comeback, i-i-if you- you haven't learned how to lighten up, don't be here!" Morty said, finally walking away to the restrooms. A big grey bean character walked in behind him. We must be the only people in here, human people.

"Whatever... ugh... that kid is such a pain." Rick said silently. All I did was stare at the half empty bottle of ketchup at the side of the table, I don't remember a time where Rick and I were alone. Its... weird. Should I do what Dr. Wong said? Start up small conversation? Find an interest? Should I bring up my portal gun?

"So... do you guys go to places like this often?" I broke the moment of silence. Rick didn't look at me, just stared off where Morty walked to, then looked over to the bar.

"I never saw staircase people or giants before." I said.

"Ugh." He then rubbed his face a little, slouching in his seat. He's uncomfortable, first time we're alone for the moment and he already can't stand it. I bit the inside of my cheek and I took it out of my jacket pocket, looked at it funny.

"Wait a minute..." I looked at the color of the gun, the portal fluid... its not purple, its green. How did I not notice it when the giants gave them back to us?

"What do you have there?" Rick asked as the waitress came by with our bloogies drinks. I looked up at him after she walked out and showed him the portal gun. He snatched it out of my hands and looked at it.

"The hell, why do you have my portal gun?!"

"T-the giants must have switched them or something. You must have mine."

"W-w-what do you mean, yours? You don't have a portal gun. This is mine. Portal guns are my thing." He told me, waving it around.

"Sure, what about the one in your coat pocket? The one that was given to you?"

"What are you talking about? The only portal gun I have is mine, only one-... what the..." He was confused as he pulled out a second portal gun, the one with glowing purple fluid. My portal gun. He held it in his hands, turning it over, examining it.

"Yeah, I'll just take that back..." I said, reaching over and gently taking it out of his hands. I couldn't help but smile at him, all he did was stare at me with a very bewildered face.

"What the...?" Was all he said as he stared at me with that same expression. I shrugged a little innocently and picked up my drink, looking into it.

"Uh... oh-oh shit! Karaoke!" He said, pointing to a little stage at the other side of the tavern. He quickly drink his entire bloogie drink, got out of the booth, and walked over to it, ready to sing whatever it is he wanted to sing... which was Swet Home Alabama.

"Hm... wonder what's taking Morty so long." I said to myself as I picked up my bloogie drink and took a sip. Mm, whatever a bloogie drink is, its actually pretty good. Fruity, almost like a smoothie, what's that little aftertaste? Banana?