Castles Crumbling ─ Lucy Bronze

II. Gain The Weight Of You Then Lose It

A look that was once filled with love and admiration, was covered in hurt.

Miyra couldn't advert her eyes away from Lucy, her heart throbbed in her chest and her eyes grew heavy with salt filled tears. She watched Lucy's chest rise up and down when the sunlight was able to just squeeze itself in the middle of the small gap the curtains had, reflecting the morning sun on the brunette.

She looked nothing but peaceful. Her eyes closed, her lips slightly parted, letting out small huffs of breath. Her arm neatly tucked behind her head, stuffed between her head and pillow while the rest of her body was laid out like a starfish. Nothing felt new, this had been the same Lucy Miyra always knew.

She used to be afraid of Lucy hating her, the glared and the sneers. The fear that her heart would collasp before she could even mutter out a word. But now she experienced a new fear, this Lucy. Her love for Lucy couldn't change if Lucy herself didn't. Miyra had dug herself a hole and forgot to take a rope on the way down. She was stuck. Watching Lucy chest rise up and down. Plum cuddling into her mother, missing Lucy just as much as Miyra had.

Miyra was sure she would never find a love greater than theirs. Even if she was to move foward, to continue living her life to the fullest, her heart would always want Lucy. Lucy had been her first love and should've been her only love. Miyra let her own fear get in the way, she was now stuck. Up and down. Lucy's chest rose again.

Miyra laid on her side, facing Lucy. Sprinkle was sleeping at the end of her bed and Sugar had taken a nice cozy spot in their bathroom sink to rest. Not a single soul awake at the crack of dawn apart from Miyra. Up and down. Sometimes Miyra wished Lucy would stop breathing so she could look away. It was selfish but it was true.

There was once no gap that seperated them, Lucy would sleep with one arm behind her head and the other one wrapped around her girl, pressing Miyras front to her side. Now, there was a bedside table seperating them. They slept on the sides closest to one another, the gap too large. Way larger than it should've been.

Since that night, Miyra couldn't sleep alone, she had to have someone with her. Sometimes she could just get away with her cats. But most nights she was at Leahs house until Leah decided it was best they move it. Leah and Miyra were nothing but platonic. Leah was able to fill most of the heart-gapping hole Lucy left within the younger girl. Not fully though, Lucy and Miyra knew so. No one could ever finish off the gap. No one but Lucy.

When Leah wasn't around Miyra was with Katie. And when Katie wasn't around Miyra stole Beth from Viv, much to the dutches dismay. The three girls supplied her with comfort. Saying that, Miyra couldn't find herself to sleep well. She tossed and turned the entire night. Her eyes bore themselves onto Lucy as the light started to show her. Miyra promised Leah she would be able to do that night, she was sure she could've done it. Lucy was at least in the room. Obviously Miyra hadn't accomplished a well rest. It left her tired, lonely and now, sad.

On the shared bedside table, Lucy's phone buzzed, a timer echoing through the air. Catching Lucy's eyes snap open Miyra closed hers. Tugging her blanket closer to her body.

She cracked open her right eye a tiny bit, just enough to be able to see Lucy. Lucy groaned, her eyes wondering around the room before landing on Miyra. Lucy sighed. Turning off the alarm. Placing her phone face down as she turned on her side. Her eyes fixated on the girl.

Lucy only allowed her eyes to stay on the girl for a few seconds before she rolled onto her back, covering her face "fuck me." She muttered "fuck you Mi."

Miyra waited until Lucy walked into their bathroom, scooping up Sugar she placed the orange cat in the open arms of Miyra. Miyra's hands bringing the cat closer.