Beautiful Sin [ ON HOLD ]

Chapter 36.

" Define what love means to you,Levi ?"

The ceiling fan creaked quietly, the cold dry air draft kissing my shirtless torso as I shuffled inside the cabinets of my mind for a cohesive definition on what love meant to me. The heaviness of the word felt like a crashing weight against my chest, scratching my neck as a self comforting gesture at the sudden realization of how I couldn't properly form a coherent answer on the subject at hand.

"Um...." I thought about the possible scenerio that could perfectly suffice the meaning of it. Thought about the times my mom hugged me after school, or how my father wouldn't miss my soccer games when I was in the fourth grade. That's probably love? That was before they both distanced themselves from my rebellious, unstable life during my adolescent years.

" I don't know what it means to me," I gave up.

" Come on," A smack on my forehead that startled me up as I jerk straight, shooting a weary glance at Gemma. " Think!"

" I can't," I whined, rubbing my temples, hoping to relieve the tension inside my skull from the intense thinking.

" We need to get to the bottom of this," She argued back, scooting closer to me , her shoulder collided with mine in the process, thighs pressed against each other.

" Do we really have to?" Another whiny intone as I leaned back further into the couch.

" Yes," Another snack on my forehead.

" Will you quit doing that!" I rubbed the spot she smacked, face scrunched up in pain.

" Not until we've sorted out this mess you've created upon yourself,"

" It's not a mess," I sighed tiredly. " You're overreacting on the issue at hand."

" Levi," She shifted on the couch,her whole body facing me with her face masked in concern. " I don't think you understand the gravity of said situation. It's a huge ass giant deal."

" How is me declaring my love for Teresa a huge deal?" Yes , I told Gemma. I needed someone to talk some sense into my head on the absurdity of me falling for a nun. I needed some slapping and shaking and screaming for me to get over the intense feelings I was grappling towards Teresa. And Gemma seemed like the only rational confidant for this. I came knocking on her front door in hopes that she'd sleep with me , sex being the only antidote I could think about. A cure for this ludicrous emotion I felt towards Teresa.

She disappointed me.

Not only did she refuse for me to get in bed with her but also refused to let me have sex with her and that's when I told her .

" It is a huge deal because you're not supposed to be falling for her!" Another smack but this time, it landed on my chest.

"Ow! Gemma!"

"I will keep doing that until you come back to your senses," She warned, having lifted her hand above her head, prophesying yet another smack on my already battered body.

" And you think slapping me will help?" I almost yelled, bewildered eyes staring at her.

" Oh so you want me to slap you?"

" No please," Scooting further away from her , I shielded My vulnerable body from getting subjected into another wave of terrifyingly painful slaps from her , which was funny seeing as her hands were smaller than mine by comparison and way softer too. So why did those smacks hurt so much?!

My eyes fell on hers, a concerned look washing over them and I felt degraded, almost persecuted. I was all sorts of fucked up as I was sure she could tell with her pleading and sympathetic eyes.