Forbidden Salvation

Chapter 58 - The Price

I knock on Anna's apartment door and my little flower, and I wait for to open.

I get déjà vu to the first time I came here. I was so nervous, but I trusted Ace enough to come to a then stranger's place. That same day I found out the type of monster I was married to.

"Lucia, how nice to see you again." She opens the door, her eyes red and swollen from crying.

I motion for her to hug me, and she walks right into my arms. I hug her tightly with my free arm as she begins to cry. I soothingly rub her back as a way of comfort. My cry from last night was so good that I'm sure I won't cry for a few hours. I'm still in deep pain but there is no way for me to express it. I have to continue living my life even if I am walking around with a bleeding heart. I have to be strong for my daughter.

"Come inside." She pulls away wiping her tears.

I follow her inside and I close the door behind me. She leads me toward the living room where I take a seat with Dahlia on my lap.

"Do you want some tea or coffee?" Anna asks, wiping her nose with a tissue.

"No, thank you."

"How are you?" I ask even though I can see she isn't okay.

"At first I didn't cry, and it didn't hurt as much because I just couldn't believe it when Silas told me but then it hit me. I realized that I'm alone now. My family is all gone." She tries so hard not to cry again.

"You're not alone, Annamaria. You have me, Dahlia, and Silas. We're your family too and we will always be here for you." I go to sit beside her.

She hugs me from the side, and I put my arm around her. Dahlia stares at her in question before giving her a huge smile that immediately causes Anna to cheer up just a little bit.

"Sei come una palla di sole." Anna smiles at her.

"Thank you, Lucia for being here with me. Ace loved you more than anything. You were really good to him, and you changed him in such a great way." Her words form a knot in my throat.

"Have you seen Silas?" I change the subject because I don't want to cry.

"No. He disappeared after he dropped me off here. This is also hitting him pretty hard. He was his best friend, and they were like brothers. I'm sure he will be fine though." She tells me and the melancholic look in her eyes hurts. Ace would never want to see them like this.

"Do you want come with me to your brother's house?" I ask her.

"I want to go because I think it's a good way to finally accept what happened. If I go and don't see him there, I will finally register that he is really gone. I won't be in denial anymore and I will stop hurting myself mentally." I explain my thoughts to her.

"Yes, maybe it will help me too. I would also like to take something of his just for the memory of him."

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I instantly feel my sadness creep up on me when I enter the gates of his house. It feels so empty now that he isn't here.

"Are you sure?" Anna asks when I've stopped the car.

I only nod and step out to get Dahlia from the back seat. I cover her in a big blanket because it's pretty cold outside today. It's one of those days where it's cloudy but then the sun randomly comes out for a little before hiding again.

I follow behind Anna and then I watch her open the door. She walks in first but then it takes me a few seconds before I decide to finally step inside. I close the door behind me, and the emptiness and silence of the house makes me feel so horrible already. I really want to see his body so that I can accept that he really is dead but that is impossible. It's gone.

The first thing I do is go to his bedroom. I close the door and I'm hit with the scent of his cologne. The scent of him that is only his. My eyes water up not even within seconds. I lay Dahlia on the bed, and I surround her with pillows except for his. I take his. I sit on the bed, holding his pillow on my lap. I stare down at it before finally deciding to hold it up to my nose.

I close my eyes to contain tears as I hug it tightly. I wish it was him that I was hugging. I would do anything to be in his arms one last time, to burry my nose in his neck, and to feel the warmth of his body.

A sob leaves me as I finally let myself cry. I hug his pillow tightly and close to my chest. I still don't understand how this could have happened. Why did it have to happen?

I stand up, the pillow still in my arms as I walk into his closet. His scent is even stronger in here. I let my tears freely fall while I look around at his clothes. I open up a drawer where he kept his watches. They're all neatly lined up, but I notice one is missing. The one I had gifted to him.

He never once took it off even when I hurt him. The short time that I've been here with him I would always notice that he would take it off to go to bed but then early in the morning when he would wake up, he would put it back on. A part of me left with him including a part of my heart. What is left is only for my daughter.

I decide not to touch his clothes or anything else. I want to leave it just how he left it. I don't want anything touched at all.

I walk back out the room to put the pillow back. I don't do it. I actually take a few minutes seated on the bed crying while inhaling its scent.

It hurts so bad. I really just wasn't meant to be with him. He was my one and only love. He was the man I always dreamed of being with. He came into my life at a time where I couldn't be with him completely and now that I can he is gone. I really can't bear the thought that I might never see him again. It hurts to even breath knowing that he isn't here anymore.

I won't ever get to wake up to him again or hear his beautiful deep voice. I'm going to miss the sound of my name coming from his lips. I won't ever get to hug him or kiss him. He's really gone and there is nothing I can do about it.

The price for my freedom was the love of my life.

There is a sudden knock on the door before Anna speaks. "Lucia, Silas asked if he could come over to talk to us and I said that it is fine. Is that okay?"

"It's fine." I weakly speak.

I hear her walk away as I decide to lay down on the bed with Dahlia. I let her play with my hands until she eventually ends up falling asleep.

I think the amount of tears I've cried have taken all my energy, so I end up falling asleep as well.

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"Ace?" I see him seated in the sunflower field he got me.

He turns around at the sound of my voice. A beautiful smile makes its way onto his lips.

"Lucia, my beautiful love, come to me." He motions for me to go to him, and I do just that.

I stand beside him but not for long as he pulls me down onto his lap. I wrap my arms around his neck. I smile down at him while he smiles at me. I take in every little detail about him so that it can stick to my brain forever.

"It's okay, sunflower." He brushes my hair gently with one hand and with the other he wipes the tears on my cheeks that I hadn't realized were there.

"Don't waste your tears on me any longer." There is this look in his eyes that gives me hope of some sort.

"I'm home."

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