Darkside of the Sun

Chapter 37 - Don't let me go

Flashback

"Tom Kaulitz?"

The room was lit up with the most bright light you could imagine. The table we were sitting at could be described as a death table. The kind of table you lay on if you're dead and are ready to be held captive in a fridge. The chair I was sitting on was hard and cold. Just like the whole vibe around here. This was apperantly my job though. I had a nice home, a lovely dog, food on the table. I had no right to complain about things that didn't matter.

"Isn't he the guitarist from some German band?"

My father that was sitting on the opposite side of the table nodded and cleared his throat. "Correct" He spoke as he wrote something on a paper. "Tokio Hotel, you must have heard of it."

Tokio hotel, that did ring a bell. I had to digg deep somewhere in the back of my mind but I guess I had heard it somewhere. I nodded before shifting in my seat. "What did he do?"

"He killed his father." He spoke firmly before looking at the camera in the corner of the room.

I crossed my legs and did the same with my arms. My gaze was shifting from the camera to my father before speaking. "Okay maybe some details. When, how, motive, wapon."

"We have all of it. It had been under our noses for years. We just don't have enough proof to actually lock him behind bars."

I tilted my head to the side and laughed weakly. "And now it's my job to give you a full confession. Just because I have a pretty face, right?"

He nodded his head. "Exactly"

-

Tom's POV

"Yet you still couldn't put me behind bars."

I chuckled lowly to myself before smirking. I stepped closer making the distance between us dissapear. Her breath was warm on my rough skin as I looked at her flickering her lashes at me before scoffing. "I just had to give them a confession. I did that. What happened after wasn't my problem."

I bit my lip and looked away before stepping back again. "Isn't he a little dissapointed?"

"Who?"

My gaze was glued to the tv that wasn't even on. "Your father."

She snorted before letting her body sink into the gray couch. "I don't give a fuck if he's dissapointed." She crossed her arms. "He used me."

I slowly stepped towards her as my body dropped right next to hers. "You don't even know the full story do you?" She didn't look at me when those words escaped my lips. I don't think she had the guts to. "Huh?"

She clenched her jaw. "No."

I let out a weak laugh and began to nod my head to myself. "Okay, okay."

"I'm sorry Tom."

I broke my gaze away from the tv. "Yeah sure you are."

-

Flashback

"Billy?"

"Tommy?"

Both boy's were looking at each other in the most shoking way a person could ever imagine. One boy who had been living in his own nightmare. The other who had lived his dream life. But both boys had been feeling the same thing when they looked at each other in that moment. Love, relieve, desperation, hope. Even though Bill didn't have anything to complain, he still missed his big brother. And even tough the big brother was supposed to be the one who had to be strong in these kind of moments. He didn't hesitate a second to be held by his baby brother. He didn't hesitate to cry his eyes out when his other half crouched down and was there to pick him up.

"I-I don't know what to say..."

Tom had sniffled when he looked up into those familiar eyes.

"You don't have to say anything. Just let me hold you." Bill spoke as he stroked his brother's dreads and caressed his cheeks. While wiping away his tears he had heard his brother speak.

"W-What are we going to do?" His big brother stuttered while looking deep into his eyes.

He gave his most reassuring smile. "I'm gonna bring you home. Were gonna give you a nice warm bath and give you some clean clothes."

The older one had tried to give him a smile but failed miserable when a gut-wrenching sob escaped instead. "N-No I mean." He pointed towards the now lifeless body of their father.

He had layed there on the ground. Surrounded in his old ice cold blood. His body stiff, eyes that were looking at no direction in particular. Arms and legs spread out in the most unhuman direction. Blood still dripping from his chapped lips.

The younger one had not dared to look at the lifeless form of their father. And when he did try to look he winced immidiately and looked back at his brother.

"I'm sorry."

The older one had managed to get out.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, so, so sorry!"

The younger boy couldn't handle his loved one in such a state. So he picked him up and threw one arm around his shoulder. They struggled to walk out of the little house towards the frontdoor. Stumbling over each others feet at least ten times. When they did manage to make it out of the house they finally tripped over each others feet falling face flat down mount everest. Bill's stepmother was the first one to lay at their feet.

"Oh my god boys, what happened?!" She panicked while struggling to hold them steady.

"He's dead!" The older one cried while holding on to Bill's jacket for dear life.

"Who's dead?!" She looked at them with wide eyes, mouth open, sweaty hands.

"Daddy! Daddy's dead." The older one sobbed. "I killed him..."

The stepmother's stomach head dropped thru the ground. She had hears stories form Bill, but she didn't know much. But the way the older boy was crying and screaming, ready to give up. She knew this was something way above her league.

-

"I-I don't know what to say..."

Luna turned her head to look at me. Her eyes were full of tears, struggling to hold them back.

I couldn't though.

The tears had been running down my cheeks for years now. Maybe not visibly for the rest of the world. But for me they were. That hollow feeling. Always trying to search for something to fill it up with. It would never work and it never did. It did with Luna though.

"J-Just please don't..."

She held my cheek with her little, perfect, warm hand. "Don't what?"

I finally looked up into her eyes before I let myself be imbraced by her warm and steady arms. A sob fell out of my throat but I tried hard to not let myself fall apart. "Please don't let me go."