When Hearts Heal

Chapter 1

As I stepped into the room, the air hung heavy with the weight of memories I hadn't visited in years. 

My best friend Maya told me it was time to get rid of all Jared's stuff that I had accumulated over the last three years. But that task seemed easier said than done. Every drawer I would open, every box I would take down, would bring a surge of new emotions stemming from old memories. It didn't feel real yet... 

"Hey, take a breath." Maya encouraged me as she saw the tears at the edge of my eyelids. 

"It's just stuff, right? It shouldn't be this hard." I said trying to act brave as I folded all of the clothes that reminded me of him into a pile to give away. It's silly how even something like a dress or a pair of shoes held so much emotional baggage. 

"Hey don't give that one away," Maya said, grabbing the dress from my hand. "I liked this one. You looked really good in it." 

"Yeah, I know," I said taking it back from her. "But every time I look at it, I think about our first date and how he also thought I looked good in it. The same goes for the one I wore on our 1st and 2nd anniversary, and the one -" 

"Adaline...look at me." Maya interrupted my rant, grabbing my hands in hers. "I know this hurts. Moving on from someone you deeply love hurts...but if you have to get rid of everything he thought you looked good in, you're not going to have any clothes left to wear." 

She was right. She always is. 

"I know," I said defeated. "But just these ones, please? All the others I can still look at without completely falling apart, but these...they hurt too much Maya." 

I could tell that she understood, and also that she felt sorry for me. She told me that something was off about Jared at the start but I was too in love to listen or even care at the time. She always had my best interest at heart, almost like a mother would. I don't know what I would do without her. 

"Why don't you put everything in a pile that you no longer want, and then I will get rid of it for you? That way you don't have to go through the emotional process of having to bag everything up and throw it away. Out of sight, out of mind, right?" She said trying to be comforting and supportive. 

"Right," I answered, mustering a smile. 

3 years. 3 years we were together. And what do I have to show for it? Just a few handwritten notes, a teddy bear he got me when I was sick, and pictures that I printed myself. It's funny how when you're on the outside, you start to see things differently. I loved him deeply. And I'm sad to see that the majority of the things I have collected over the years to commemorate our relationship, were things that I kept or collected. He was never as sentimental as I was, and it shows. But I hope when he finally decides to get rid of everything that I gave him, he has a good time because unlike him, I gave him a lot more memories to rummage through his drawers to find in order to get rid of them. I might have a soft heart and a kind soul, but I also want him to unpack everything, look at it, and realize I loved him way more than he ever loved me.