When Hearts Heal

Chapter 15

I woke up in a sweat as I place my palm to my chest, feeling my heart beat rapidly as if I had just run a marathon. I looked over at my alarm clock reading 11pm.

I might as well get ready for work then.

As I walked downstairs, I could still feel my heart going crazy against my chest, only for it to be momentarily silienced by passing Maya.

"Woah, what happened to you? You look terrible." She notes, halting in her steps.

"Thanks." I reply sharply. "I feel terrible."

"Hey, tell me what's wrong. You still have a few minutes before your shift." She inquires as I take a deep breath, slowing my racing heartbeat.

"I had another dream."

"About Jaden? Oh gosh, I'm so sorry." She apologises as we walked to the couch sitting down.

"It's like, my brain knows we're over and in reality I'm working really hard on myself to heal and to move on from everything. But when I'm asleep, it's like he haunts my dreams...stalking me every night, reminding me of what was and what could've been. And it hurts Maya. It really hurts. I hate it with every fiber of my being. I just wish my subconscious could catch up to my reality and let him out."

"You know," Maya wrapped her arm around me as she pulled me into a hug. "Sometimes that takes the longest to heal. Because you have to remember Adi, you spent 3 years convincing your mind that you love him, thinking about everything you wanted to do together. And now you have to undo it. It's like a drug. You have to convince yourself all over again why you don't love him, and why you should move on. You have to teach your heart and your brain to unlove him."

"You make it sound so easy."

"Oh believe me, it's not. It sucks. You know how long it took me to get over my ex. But look at me now, I turned out okay. " She says making a small smile tug at the corner of my lips, begging me not to make a joke at her expense.

"Thanks." I kindly replied getting up and grabbing my keys.

I knew what she said was true. But knowing what was true didn't take away from the memories permanently scorned into my brain. It didn't comfort me at night when I woke up in a sweat, or dry my tears when something reminded me of him.

It felt like my whole world had revolved around him for the longest time, and now I had to teach myself how to be alone again.

And I hated the fact that I had to that...

As I walked through the hospital doors, it was strange not seeing Ben's uncle perched at his side as I was half expecting him to be. Seeing him has now become a part of my daily routine. But then again, I couldn't expect him to be here 24/7.

It just dissapointed me more than I thought it would.

"And..." Katie inquired with a smirk as I filled up my coffee mug.

"And what?"

"Ugh, you're no fun." She commented playfully hitting me with a file.

"It was okay." I noted sitting down beside her.

"Just okay?" She asked with an arched brow.

"It was a good game and we talked a little after." I replied watching her face turn giddy. "It was just a conversation Katie, nothing serious."

"Mhm, I bet. So what did you talk about?" She further inquired as I watched her get comfortable with a permanent smirk playing on her face.

"Just...how I could make it and that someone swapped shifts with me and then he said he hopes to see me at more games. What else did you expect?"

"I don't know Adi...that sounds pretty promising to me..."

"You watch too many romantic movies." I commented as I tried to hide my smile.

It was kind of nice to forget about Jaden. To smile again, to be happy for a split second without remembering what my heart is currently going through.

I'll admit, I wasn't in any way ready for another relationship this soon and I didn't even know if I liked him. But I knew that hope was very healing, and I was planning on holding unto it.