When Hearts Heal

Chapter 2

I sat downstairs as I listened to Maya pack all of my memories into a black bag. It's funny how the things you once held dear could hurt so much under different circumstances. I felt like I should've known better, that all of the red flags were there blinking and screaming in my face wanting to get my attention so I could see what was really going on in front of me. But I was too smitten to even realize I was being played with... 

"All done," Maya said triumphantly, coming in from the back door and sitting down on the couch next to me. 

" Am I stupid?" I asked turning my whole body to face her. 

"What?" Maya asked almost in disbelief. 

"Am I stupid for allowing him to treat me the way that he did, as long as he did? Like, why didn't I see the things that everyone else so clearly saw? Why did I settle for the bare minimum and beg him to love me? I don't know Maya, maybe I was just too much for him..." 

"What? Too much? Hun, he was not enough for you. " 

"Okay, but-" 

"No, let me finish. He never did what you asked him to do and yet when he asked you to do something you not only did it, but you did it within the same hour as well. Not even to mention the flowers he bought you. Oh wait, he didn't buy you any flowers unless you were sick or it was your birthday so let's chop that up to what? 4 bunches in the last 3 years? That's pathetic, I'm sorry. " Maya said folding her arms as I could tell she was getting worked up on my behalf. 

"But you know that I don't expect those things from him." 

"Well, you should've! If he really saw your worth, he would have treated you like the princess that you are! I mean, even my little brother knows to open the door for a lady. And he's 6 ! I mean, come on Adi, you deserve better than having to beg for the bare minimum." 

I didn't respond. I mean, what do I even say? She was right. I knew I deserved better. Not because I was vain, but because I knew my value and I knew what my standards were. I never should've lowered either of those two things just to keep him in my life...So I guess in a way this is my fault. I allowed mediocrity and when he didn't want to come up to my level, I came down to his. Maybe I really am stupid... 

"Hey, you okay? You kind of zoned out there for a minute." Maya asked, grabbing my attention. 

"Yeah, sorry I was just thinking." 

"Look, I know I must sound harsh and heartless, but it's only because I want the best for you, and Jared was not it. There are so many great guys out there who would be lucky to call Adeline Bennett their girlfriend, you just have to find him." 

" Thanks. But I don't think I'm quite ready to date again." I admitted. 

"Maybe not right now, but in a few more months, who knows what will happen?" 

I admired her optimism. It was something we had in common and was the grounds for the beginning of our friendship. But after Jared and I broke up, I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore. What type of things do I like? Do I really like action movies? Or was that just another thing I forced myself to like because he liked it? Are sunsets on the beach still my favorite thing? Why did I ever stop drinking bubblegum milkshakes? Was that my decision or because he didn't like the taste? I had so many unanswered questions about myself, so many things I had to figure out now. It was like I was getting to know myself all over again. 

But the saddest part of it all was, I didn't even recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror anymore...