Heavy Thoughts

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I am under the impression

That I don't know anything, not anymore.

& the most painful truth that hurts is that I

No longer know me.

I'm told loving hurts and every time you try

It leaves you with a feeling of grieve.

I'm not sure what is expect or what's to come & I wish I knew.

But I'm sure it'll hurt.

I don't really understand anything & I'm more confused than ever. I don't recognize who I am anymore & maybe it's the bad haircut that was supposed to be a trim or that I've been wounded with words & that I have no one to lean on because I don't know how to lean on them.

Maybe I've been pushed because my struggles are too much and who I am is too fucked up.

I don't understand how people who feel like this get through it & I fight with each breathe I take & it gets harder.

Maybe I'm just someone who doesn't know & no amount of therapy could fix me. Do I need fixing?

I just wish someone would hold me. I don't know who I am, I don't know who you are & maybe I could go for a little bit, just a little

to rest my weary head down.

Just a little longer...

-m.j.h.

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