(Poetry)Beginning of The Unknown.

Round Table

I'm alone here near this table filled with people.

I got drunk while you left and packed your things.

Here I am, thinking you'll be home.

I (I'm) quite aware of what once was and what now is.

Here I am, off 4 drinks talking about you.

Thinking that if I think it to be true, it will be.

But who am I?

To want someone who doesn't gave a damn about me.

Here I am seated at this round table & somehow, I still have a picture of me & you.

Even my phone misses you.

YOU

came up.

It came so naturally to speak of what I had planned. What I hoped I'd get with you.

Here I sit speaking of a "how I met you"

Hoping I can go back...

Back to something so delicate & comforting.

Now, you're like an old friend I avoid at the store just because I don't know what to say & who to be. I often wonder what it must be like to be loved by you. Just like a kid who waits on Christmas for that one gift that just never comes.

I think if it's enough for you what they give to you? Even if it's just never right or enough. I wonder if you think of me when you're there beside them and wonder what it is, it would be like with me. Yet, I know I won't ever find out. I guess there was just never room for me, or that space wasn't ever for me & you convinced me to believe it was my fault.

I liked that, how you'd make me believe that anything & everything was on me. Yet, I never went looking for something while I was still here & I never wanted anyone.

enjoyed hunting for more. I don't know why I'm here.

I don't know why I speak of such a time of the past. And as I sit here telling a story of "how we meet." I ask, how do you tell it? I blush to those moments of who we were or more of who you were. Feeling lovable by you & never needing to know, and always just knowing.

Where did it all go? Where did the interest of longing for someone go? I'm so perplexed by such a blow to my face. I don't know where it all went & as I sit here at the round table. I can't help but wish I'd let my thoughts consume me. Then, it wouldn't hurt as much as it hurts to know that someone like you, could never love a person like me.

-m.j.h.