Requested companion piece to feels like home, stay in bed.
Placing the blame on himself was easy. He was good at it, too. Because the other external factors...he didn't have control of. But pinning what went wrong on his actions as one of the leaders of the team, taking that kind of accountability and bearing it himself was just something he was used to by now. Even though it was clear they weren't playing as a cohesive unit or the refs were turning a blind eye to obvious calls, Travis still found it far more simple to accept fault and self-correct.
The fact he hated losing went without saying. Nobody on the team, did, and Pat's rage, while not directed at him in the least, felt completely justified. They needed to do better and he had to set an example, had to get his shit together.
He was dating the kindest, most caring person in the world, someone who he knew for a fact was disappointed right along with him when they lost, but who also made sure to tell him how damn proud of him she was every chance she got. The only other people in his life who'd ever shown him the same level of support were his family and it wasn't something he took for granted. Everyone constantly told him how incredibly lucky he was and best believe, he knew, counted his blessings daily someone like her was in his corner.
That all being said, having her witness two defeats in a row was humiliating. It wasn't in the sense that he believed for a minute she'd think any less of him, but he wanted to be the best for her. She was always at the very top of her game and she deserved someone like that, too.
Knowing Taylor was in the stands, cheering him on, always made him play that much better. She was consistently concerned she was a distraction, but he'd reassure her that having her there, pulling for him felt amazing and once the season was over, he'd go to as many shows as he could to support her in turn.
Seeing her before the game when her plane got in after being apart for days had lit an extra fire underneath him. He'd really wanted them to celebrate together with a win, given it was her birthday week, so a win was something he was striving for.
Instead, he'd let her down, let Chiefs Kingdom down, possibly his teammates and most assuredly, himself. Coming back from all that, even with the awareness that they had before and they would again, was tough.
After they hit the locker room, the only person he wanted to see was Taylor. Despite being aware of the loss and how disappointed she must be, he couldn't help but want to see her face, look into her eyes. Somehow, she made everything better.
Patrick, having calmed slightly after his initial meltdown, caught him on the way in, clapping him hard on the back.
"Unbelievable fucking throw, man," Pat shook his head, "should've fucking counted, but you know...you did real good."
"Thanks, man." Travis hit his teammate's shoulder, giving him a one armed embrace. "You good?"
"Nah, not really, but you know how it is. Gotta do what we gotta do. I'll see you later."
He didn't need to ask whether or not he was going to join the team at the Miracle Bar popup; Pat was clearly in no mood to be around anyone, but he'd pull it together the second he left that locker room; they leave it on the field when it ended.
Truthfully, he didn't feel much like going out either and he knew if he begged off, Taylor would understand, but her cousins, who had been at the game, were due to be there, his own cousins, his friends were riding over with them... hardly seemed fair to cancel plans because he wasn't in the mood. He refused, always had, to allow what happened during a game intercede with his regular life. No one was accountable but him, so no one deserved his shit attitude.
