Having "End Game" dedicated to him at the concert had Travis feeling some kind of way. He'd more or less claimed it as "theirs," though he chose to keep it between himself and Taylor. Getting to stand in the dark while he watched her sing directly to him, radiant and beaming, had him simultaneously melting into a big pile of mush and grinning like a fool, pointing and waving his hands in the air like the pumped up, proud boyfriend he was the second she'd stepped out on stage.
"You were waiting," she said to him afterwards once her adrenaline had settled slightly, thanks to a glass of wine and their current location; the in room hot tub, Tay tucked against him. It was a bummer to know he'd be flying out late morning, but they were both determined to enjoy every minute they had together.
He traced a droplet of moisture on her shoulder, popping the tiny bubble with his finger and dropping his head to brush his lips over the spot.
"After the show?"
"Mhmm," she replied and to him, she sounded like she was finally getting sleepy. "I didn't have to look for you...you were right there."
"That was your dad," he said, not wanting to take all the credit. "I was gonna wait inside the tent because I know he usually meets you, but he kind of passed the torch. It was nice of him, but I gotta admit, Tay, I was nervous. Didn't want to do anything to push you for more that you were ready for, publicly. Obviously," he grinned, kissing her again, on her neck this time, "I didn't need to be."
She shook her head. "Nope. I wanted everyone to see how much I love you. That I appreciate you for coming. It's the fact you were right there. Even if you had been in the tent, I bet I wouldn't have had to search for you. That's what means so much to me, Travis. You show up. You don't just say you're going to, you actually show up. That means everything."
Travis leaned in to kiss her, touched by her sentiment. "You show up for me, too, baby, all the time. One of the reasons this is so good."
Her head dipped to meet his again as they kissed leisurely for awhile, his fingers playing with the loose strands of her hair.
"Tay---the fact he ever made you feel like you needed to hide...that's bullshit."
It didn't remotely come across like he wanted it to, more of a reflex than anything else and when he went to apologize for how bluntly he had spoken, she stopped him.
"It took me six years to realize what you did in what...ten minutes?"
"You know I listened to the album. Didn't mean to bring it up now. Not when you're supposed to be relaxing."
"It's actually a good thing you did, Trav," she replied quietly. She rested her head against his shoulder as he brought her close. "I've been meaning to talk to you about it. Especially since you're going to get to Lover next and that was when it was good, most of the time. I thought it was, anyway. But you'll hear some more of the insecurity. And I'm not saying that's all on him. It's definitely something I've struggled with my entire life. But it took me years to realize that when I was willing to kind of tuck myself away and be a little bit smaller, Joe was fine with that. More than fine; he actually preferred it that way."
She turned in his arms so that they could maintain eye contact. "I'm glad you listened to it because now you have an idea of why I flat out refuse to ever allow that again. I wasted six years of my life that I'll never get back being encouraged to be afraid of other people's opinions of me. If I've learned one thing from everything that's happened, it's I don't give a fucking shit what anyone has to say, aside from the people I love. I'm so quick now to respectfully tell anyone to fuck off if the situation warrants it."
"You built yourself back up, baby. You did that. And you'll never have to hide one inch of yourself with me."
He may have been shit with words, but he knew for a fact, he was good with feelings.
