Spicy warning 🌶️
"What if I had said no? And both of our families were there, just hiding in the dining room and they all came out, expecting us to be engaged?"
She says all this with a cup of coffee in one hand, a croissant in the other, perfectly content in just a bathrobe as we eat a quick breakfast.
"You told me last night there wasn't a world you'd say no in." I joke, reaching for the cream.
Her cheekbones rise as she smirks. "Awfully confident, huh?"
"Not so much that as I figured they'd be a good luck charm. You knew they were coming anyway."
"True," she puts down her pastry to lay a hand on mine. "You knew for a fact I'd say yes. You would've never invited everyone if you'd expected a different answer."
"Deep down, maybe. Yeah."
I don't mean to come across as cocky, but she smiles, leaning into my space to kiss me.
We'd talked about what we both wanted for the future as early as two months in, on the same page. Everything seemed to happen much faster than either of us ever anticipated and it was a hundred percent clear, it was completely right. Felt right since the very beginning.
"We've got a lot to figure out," Taylor trains her eyes on me. "Scheduling and planning. Where we're going to live, mostly. Obviously during football season, we'll be at your place."
"It'll be ours," I correct. "And we'll figure it out, baby. Sit down, discuss everything we haven't talked about yet."
"I know," she sighs through her nose. "I'm not trying to take any of the romance out of it, Trav. I've just been in situations before where certain things were deal breakers and it's really important we keep open conversations on how we want to go out about this. And what kind of wedding we want, big or small...where we want to have it. When we want to tell people, if we decide to tell people."
I hear the underlying nerves, see it in the way she drums her nails against the grain of the table's wooden surface.
"Honey, hey," I rest my hand on here to still it. "I promise you, everything we need to decide on, it'll be together. Okay?"
"I'm sorry," Taylor apologizes quietly. "I hate that my fucking mind has to go there right now. We legitimately just got engaged. We have time. I don't know why..."
She trails off, pressing her lips together tightly. The reason for any lingering anxiety isn't really lost upon either of us.
"Difference is," I start carefully, "there's no way in hell I'm going to make you feel bad for what you decide or what you need. It's about both of us, Taylor, not just me. We aren't going to start our lives together out on the wrong foot. Yeah, okay, maybe we'll have different ideas when it comes to some things...maybe I'll want a DJ for the reception and you'll want a band, maybe we'll argue over the cake flavors, I don't fucking know...but the important stuff, I can promise you outright, we're in it together. Same exact page. Alright?"
Silently, she laces her fingers through mine, giving them a gentle squeeze. "I---"
"Don't be sorry, Tay. I get it. I understand."
"You're not him. You aren't either of them. I know that. There's still that little bit of fear, though. I can't promise that it'll go away."
It had been through getting to know each other that she told me the emotional whiplash she'd been through over six years and then again when Matty had come along and made vows he knew from the beginning he wasn't going to keep. She and Joe were close to an engagement, so close that they'd picked out rings, set possible dates. He hadn't formally asked but it was understood for years that it would happen.
