T/w: sensitive topics...mentions of stalking, non specific mentions of the cyber violation, indications of a specific type of self harm, brief mentions of suicidal thoughts/planning.
A request.
"You're handling all of this incredibly well."
"Yeah? I don't feel like I am. I feel like I got punched in the gut. You know, like when someone socks you in the fucking stomach and it takes all the air right out of you? That's how I feel."
Maybe he shouldn't be this brutally honest. She's the one dealing with it directly, it's happening to her and he starts to backslide, to apologize, but she dodges it, predicts exactly what he's about to do.
"Don't, Trav. You have as much of a right to feel like that as I do. You can't do anything, you're not here and you feel powerless. I get it."
Over the phone screen, she looks tired. Defeated. "I swear to you, I'm not being flip. Not on purpose. I'm used to this."
"You shouldn't have to be. It's fucking disgusting. The thought of him or anybody getting anywhere near you, Taylor..."
He's aware his tone is inadvertently rising and he's quick to soften. "I know you've one thousand percent got it handled. It's not that."
It's difficult, to put it mildly, finding the words he wants to use in a situation like this. Being who she was didn't excuse the unwarranted attention, the fact that she gave and gave and it never seemed to be enough. It's not just infuriating ---it's fucking heartbreaking.
"And despite knowing that, you're upset. Which is totally valid. It's scary. I'm never not scared when something like this happens. But I'm actually more afraid for the people I love if something were to happen to me. My family, my friends. And you."
The idea is sobering, both that she's less worried about herself and more concerned with how it would affect those closest to her and the terrifying possibility of anything happening.
It was something they'd discussed when they got into this. Taylor was very upfront with the reality of what being in her life meant and he'd walked into it with open arms. He knew that she had to cope with some unimaginable things, things that no amount of money or notoriety could erase.
What's important for her to know, what he hopes he's able to properly convey is that while the situation is horrifying and disgustingly invasive, he understands that it comes with the territory, she and her security team are on it and everything is being done properly, all the protocols are in place to assure her safety.
"I trust you. You're making the right decision."
Sometimes, Travis finds saying sentiments plainly, truthfully is the only correct way. Less of a chance for misunderstandings and clearer communication.
"That means a lot, coming from you. Thank you. I know this has been hard on you, too. You're trying to stay focused and this makes it difficult."
"The situation sucks. But you're doing everything right. I still wish I could be there, though."
Part of being in a relationship with the obligations they had was the acceptance that there were bound to be major life upheavals that the other person wouldn't be physically there for. Their communication was constant; they made it a point, no matter how busy they got, how hectic life became, talking to each other was a priority.
"You are, though. You're there every time I need you. Point blank. Being there in person or not, Trav, it doesn't diminish it."
"I just don't understand why they keep letting this guy go. How many fucking times is it gonna take for him showing up and your team calling the police or the neighbors spotting him hanging around your place for them to issue this goddamn protective order? What's it gonna take..."
