The list of why she loves him is long and she could probably talk for hours about it at random (she's sure, on occasion, she has), but at the very top would have to be that open, genuine connection he has to people.
He can talk to anyone, doesn't matter if there are glaring differences; he shows the same manner of respect and attention to whoever he's in a conversation with and she loves sitting back and watching him work a room. They match each other's energies in the best way and seeing him with her band, her singers and dancers; family in every way that counted and witnessing how much they adored him in return made her indescribably happy.
The first time she had introduced him to Paul, they'd immediately bonded over the fact they were both from Cleveland and this time around, he sits next to them at dinner, chatting at length about The Cavs and The Browns and the neighborhoods they respectively grew up in.
Paul's been right in the thick of it with her. He's seen her through the good times, but plenty of heartbreak, too. He was never one to dole out advice, but he'd always managed to subtly let her know he was there if she needed him and to have his unspoken approval means the world.
Likewise, it means everything to her how easily everyone's accepted him into their tight knit group. It wasn't as though she'd feared they wouldn't like him or even if they hadn't, she has little doubt they still would've been extremely polite.
But it's the acknowledgement that she gets from them when he's there, the lovely, warm feeling that they couldn't be happier for her. Like Paul, they'd all been through the ringer with her, stopped during a quick change to place a hand on her shoulder when she needed that human contact, handed her a Kleenex to dry the tears she prayed no one noticed, a gentle word of encouragement that she was doing great when it wasn't a secret her heart was fucking breaking in front of 76,000 people every night.
Their smiles, the way they laugh and converse with him tell her everything she needs to know.
He leans over to kiss her cheek as they make conversation and she's so fucking giddy, she fears she won't sleep for three days. If being loved feels good, being loved so proudly and in full view of the people who are important to her is an absolute fever dream.
It's nice to have time with his friends and managers that's she grown to love very much. Ross and Harry have always made her feel included, right from the start, looking out for her when Travis couldn't be there and she adores them. She's delighted that Dre and Aaron, who go out and consistently kill it for Trav got to make the trip, along with Amanda, who she's gotten close to as well. Their respective friend groups and families have blended together better than she could've imagined and slowly, as the dates in Europe approach, they'll have more of them at the shows. The support is astonishing.
Every single avenue of her life feels like it finally makes sense when for years, it was confusing. She'd spent days upon days filled with self-loathing for not being happy, trying to convince herself that she had no right to be miserable while other people suffered and she had better just shut up and be grateful for what she had instead of moaning and groaning because of what she lacked.
It wasn't until she was months into the tour and then after she'd started hanging out with Travis did it dawn on her that she had every right to seek out joy. She had every right to leave a situation where the misery had seeped in until it was drowning her.
You get the love you think you deserve was an adage that she lived by. After the pain, she could finally believe that she deserved the kind of love that Travis offered. Love without conditions, love free of jealousy and of second guessing, the kind of love where she didn't have to be anyone but herself.
