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Living in New York around the holidays isn't exactly the most fun. Trying to go anywhere is always an ordeal, struggling to push through ridiculous crowds of people. Don't get me wrong, I love it here, but there's something to be said for the extreme tourism. I don't live super close to the hottest spots, which makes my commute easier, but most times I'd just like to avoid people as a whole.
I'm not saying I don't like people, I'm saying I don't like them constantly in my personal space. However, I made the choice to move here and I have to live with that. One thing I will say is that my neighbors never bother me, we rarely speak and I prefer it that way. Of course we smile in passing or acknowledge each other in some way but never those agonizing meaningless conversations.
So I have to say I'm pretty content with life right now. Most people might be sad to be alone on Christmas but I'm enjoying my solitude. I can't say someone hasn't had a hand in it, though. There's this woman who lives next door to me, she's the prettiest girl I've ever seen. She seems a bit stuck up but nothing too unbearable.
I think I cut her some slack because she seems lonely. That's something I can understand and sympathize with. This past week has been the most she's ever spoken to me and let me say, they haven't been the nicest words. Mostly complaints about me playing Christmas music too loud. At first I listened to her but then I figured she could use a little Christmas spirit.
At this point it's just to annoy her so that she talks to me; sadistic, I know. So when there's heavy knocks at my door once again, I smile and go over to open it. "Hi, Jasmine. Nice to see you again" I smirk, "listen. I see it's pointless to tell you to turn that incessantly joyful music down but could you please at least shut it off at a decent time? I need my beauty rest" she scolds.
"You're quite beautiful to me I don't think you 'need' the rest" I quip and I see her features soften for a moment before she puts on a stoic look again. "Just... have it off by 10, ok?" Her voice is much softer this time and I mentally agree to give her a break. "Alright. I can do that" I promise and she simply nods before walking to her door.
I close my own and sigh, knowing that's probably the last time I'll see her. I don't want to bother her anymore if she wants to be alone; I know how much that can infuriate a person. So I turned the music off early and headed to bed but I just lay awake, staring at the ceiling. I turn to look at the wall, knowing she's laying right on the other side.
The walls are so thin here I've heard her several times, mostly talking to herself. That's how I even knew she lived alone, otherwise I would've never assumed such a thing. A woman who looks like that is rarely ever single. I see—or rather hear—a lot of myself in her. The way she speaks to herself makes me a bit sad if I'm honest; she can't see the good in herself that is obvious—at least to me.
I begin to hear mumbling on the other side of the wall and I know I shouldn't, but I press my ear closer to better understand her. "This is stupid" I hear her say and my eyebrows furrow, trying to piece together what she's referring to. "Silly. Anyone else would think this is silly" she scoffs and I just breathe as softly as possible so I can hear every word.
