ELEANOR . NEGAN

049.

It was weird.

Seeing her reflection in her bathroom mirror, blood dried under her nose while she ran her knuckles under the water, made her sick. She was filled with regret, but then of course calamity that she managed to shut them up. But her once calm interior of that fresh feeling when she woke up, was now completely gone.

She knew she was going to get shouted at.

Eleanor left Alexandria and did a loop through the forest to calm her busy thoughts and laboured breaths, but as much as she got used to the sick feeling of grime, she did really wanted to try and be better.

Elle was doing a shit job at it so far.

"Idiot." She mumbled to her reflection. She looked teary eyed and bruised up, a yellow glow over her nose already. "Dumb flying fuck."

Elle dropped her head down with a sigh, clutching her eyes shut to calm herself down. But nothing was working. Her finger was tapping against the she of the sink, her other hand knuckles white as she clutched on to the ceramic.

"Doll?"

Not now. His familiar voice echoed throughout the house and before she knew it, her bathroom door was flying open. And the concern, and worry but also the proud sense in his eyes, filled her senses and it was enough to make her cry. But she didn't. Because she was so fucking sick of crying.

"Lydia told you."

Negan stepped forward but he didn't know how to take this. They've been rocky ever since the cabin, but then again also stronger since he began to be more caring towards Aaron and well, everyone else.

She looked sad, on the edge of a breakdown. So, of course, he cracked his perfect grin to cheer up. "Told me about you being a fucking badass. Proud of you, sunshine."

Elle scoffed, but walked closer to be next to him. "Don't be. I fucking- I punched someone who lives here! I mean, I'm supposed to look after these people and I go about doing that?"

Negan sighed. "From what I got told, Megan had no fucking right to say them damn things, you hear me?"

"Margo." Elle corrected.

"Potato potahto." Elle sighed through her nose, but Negan could definitely see the corners of her mouth tighten up. "Come here, sunshine."

She shouldn't have, but she did anyway. Instantly, she eloped her self around his body and sighed against his chest. He could feel her eyelashes fluttering open and then closed against his clothed skin, while his large hand went to the back of her head.

"I don't want people to be scared of me."

Negan laughed. "Why, doll? You're fucking terrifying, use it for an advantage."

Elle frowned but did clutch on tighter. "Meant to be different." She whispered. "That's what Daryl said. It's different here. People- people don't deserve to feel scared in a place they live."

He sighed through his nose, he thought she was wrong. How could anyone really be scared of Eleanor? She has a heart of pure gold. "They're blind as shit if they don't see you for you."

It was silent. Eerily silent. Not comfortable. It was pinching at her skin and it made her shiver. "I don't know who I am anymore."

It killed to hear her say these things, absolutely yanked on his heartstrings. Fuck. He pulled back but never took his hands off her. In fact, he kept one on her waist and slowly raised the other to cup her perfect jaw. "Going through a rough patch, alright? But don't mean you've changed to have a red tail and spiky horns. You're no fucking devil, Sunshine."