ELEANOR . NEGAN

050.

The last time she physically felt imprisoned was the dreadful days stuck in the Sanctuary's grimy prison. This, however, was new and different and gross. An imprisonment conflicted by herself in the damaged tangles of her brain.

Right now, she was sat on a chair surrounding the council as Siddiq urgently moved about her with wet cloths and shitty stitch placement across her skin. The man looked terrible, his hands shaking as they cascaded gingerly across her face.

Daryl ordered for Elle to get back to the infirmary, to have some rest and not worry about the rest of the night. But... come on, every time she moved there were people with hushed voices giving her nasty glares. So, naturally, she didn't stay put.

And that's how she ended up on a chair in front of everyone. Yeah, it hurt to move and breathe and talk but anything was better than outside. "What happened?" Gabriel asked, his eyes flitting between her and Daryl. Lydia was still in the infirmary, patched up but sleeping, so it left Elle here with Negan waiting in the cell.

"Lydia was getting attacked, I had to stop them!"

Aaron sighed and pinched his nose, "Why was you out?"

Elle sent an incredulous look between him and Daryl before pointing at the door. She thought they were thick. "That's not the right fucking question? She is a kid getting jumped by a fucking adult!"

"Elle-" Daryl said coarsely.

"No! It's a good bloody thing I was out otherwise they'd fucking kill her! That's not what Alexandria is about." But the looks she was getting really just showed that they were tired, and stressed, and maybe Elle should be compliant. "I had a nap. And when I woke up, I knew I'd be up all night if I didn't go back to sleep. So, I was gonna go out and patrol around the area to tire myself."

"Alright, thank you." Aaron said exasperated. "Now tell us what happened, from the start."

"I remember thinking I couldn't wait to tell Skittles about everything that happened." She pointed at Aaron, "Like when I punched Margo."

"You punched Margo?" Gabriel squeaked.

"Yeah, she called me fucked up and was picking on the kid. So... yeah I obviosuly punched her." she cleared her throat, "I went out, heard someone growl or scream - it was a noise. But I was pretty close to the gate so I thought it was walkers. But then, I walked past the gardens and the drying sheets and then I knew it wasn't that."

"Walked in, saw them pinning Lydia down. So I headed him in the head, pulled Gage back and punched Margo again." She suddenly hissed when Siddiq added some alcohol to her wound. "She had a weapon, that fucking stick thing and a fucking knife and I mean, yeah I had my knives, But I wasn't going to stab her. Anyways, she had the higher ground and swung at me with her shit. That's how I got this ugly bastard."

"What else happened?"

Elle sucked in a breath, wincing then with ultimate regret and shrugged. "Started to boot me in the ribs, you know proper booting me. And- and then," She could feel the regret hitting her insides where tears welled at the bottoms of her irises. "Margo went to stab me. Right to the side of my temple-"

"El'" Daryl started, but he was interrupted.

Eleanor needed to say this. "I didn't mean to, I promise. Really, I really didn't mean to. But... I just, yeah, I got her first."

There was an eerie silence around the room. And Eleanor didn't know how to take it. Was it them realising she was a bad person? On the same level as all those they killed to protect who they loved? Am I the bad person now?