ELEANOR . NEGAN

052.

It was a whistle eloping the cold air that sent a familiar chill fall upon his back. Negan never been on the receiving end of his own torture, but now as he trudged timidly towards the sound, he wished he turned around.

"That's it, right?" Negan's brown eyes cast upon the two lifeless bodies pressed together on the rocky road. A string of blood pooled under their heads, a mother and son, gone.

Dry wood dropped to the floor.

"You almost had me. Back on the bus, when you kicked me out." Negan could feel anger boil through his bones. "Then I remembered 'this is Negan'. He's always messing with people, keeping 'em in line."

Brandon was too far away to see how Negan's nostrils flared and his eyes widened. "So I realised there's a test. It's gonna get a lot more dangerous from here on out — that's what you said to me. You wanted to make sure that I had the balls to do what had to be done."

He sounded so cocky and carefree and it drove Negan insane. He may have played with murder back in the old times when he had no care for others, but Elle made him grow. This? This murder was for fun... and it infuriated him. "What do you think?"

Brandon nudged his crowbar towards the peaceful dead bodies, and Negan only got angrier. He tried to calm down, really tried. His large hand was wrapped around the intricate cross around his wrist, and he brought it up to his lips and pressed a quick kiss.

"Doll... give me fucking strength."

Negan wasn't strong enough to prevent it, because when Brandon spun around; screaming — "I am Negan." — the man himself lost it and grabbed the nearest thing to him. It was a hefty stone sitting beneath dried grass and instantly, without thinking, swung the stone right across his head.

And even when he was done, he didn't stop. Not one bit. He watched with a twisted smile that teased his features as he flattened Brandon's head under the rock, and he didn't stop even when his blood splashed against Negan's once clean skin.

He just did not stop.

-

Eleanor was sat next to Daryl on the makeshift wooden furniture he made and placed on his patio while her leg shook up and down. It rattled the flimsy wooden planks beneath her converse shoes and it made Daryl tear his eyes away from the up and moving Carol to stare at his friend.

Elle had a zoned out look full of emotion yet strangely dull. Like she was dead but her last emotion was every feeling she could ever portray. A cigarette was between her two fingers but it was unscathed and now unlit — weird.

"Wha' matter with ya?" Daryl asked with his normal gruff voice but Elle blanked him. Not on purpose, she would never do that on purpose, but her thoughts were firing faster than ever before while she did a mental check through her mind on all places Negan would've hid. Daryl exhaled through his nose and she could see him wave over Carol.

In a couple of seconds, their two man peace was disrupted by the presence of Carol and as soon as her feet planted on the patio, she raised her hand towards Elle. "What's wrong, honey?"

"No good." Daryl admitted. "Not doin' well."

Carol frowned and crouched down in front of Elle. She grabbed the lighter from the table and lit her cigarette again before, abruptly, punching her in the knee.

Elle yelped and looked up with her jaw dropped. "Bobl bach!" She rubbed her knee with a scowl. "What was that for?!" Carol placed a pointed look and that was enough for Eleanor. She brought the cigarette back to her lips and inhaled deeply, full of stress and anger, before exhaling through the corner of her mouth. "I don't know where Negan bloody went."

Carol then turned and raised her brows at Daryl and sighed. "I thought maybe the Sanctuary... but-"

"No, no - that makes sense. He's a dick so of course he'll pass the border." Elle went to speak but she was cut off. "Means we can take the longer route, get to him in a couple of days and bring him back. He's gonna feel comfortable there so he won't move."

You're wrong.

"Makes sense." Daryl huffed. "Be back befor' 'chonne gets mad."

Elle couldn't do this anymore. It was a blessing and a curse that she knew Negan so well. "You're wrong." Carol raised her brows. "He wouldn't do that - pass the border. He wouldn't."

"It's Negan."

"And he wouldn't pass the border if it meant we got in shit. Not with me-" Elle clutched her eyes shut and forced a gulp. "Not with Maya and Jude here... he has a big heart for kids, he won't do that." Carol sympathetically frowned and sprawled her hands across Elle's knee. "You know... I fucking hate admitting this — but he changed. He really fucking changed. It's not fair."

Carol still had that sympathetic look in her eyes, but it was the most Elle received out of everyone else. "He hurt you."

"What? No, no Margo did this." She said pointing at her healing cheek.

Carol shook her head. "No... he hurt you." Elle looked starstruck, gobsmacked, bewildered. "It's alright to be upset... even if it's for the bad guy. Shows you're human."

You have a heart. Eleanor remembered back to her conversation with Negan after she was angry with people treating her differently all because she broadcast her emotions. Nonetheless, they weren't wrong.

"Now, lighten up. We'll find him... he can't hide forever."

-

Night fell across the horizon and Negan quickly realised that this was going to be the loneliness night of his life. The man was used to the comfort from Elle, and he wasn't ready to let it go. He only wished circumstances were different because otherwise he would've stayed — I wish I stayed.

He stalked between hefty trees and small bushes as the night created an awkward darkness around his surroundings. The more he focused on things, the more he failed to see. But he had an idea... something that would hopefully not backfire. It was a last resort but in all honesty? Negan knew he wasn't going to make it.

"Oh... you sorry, rotten sacks of shit! What a fella gotta do to get eaten around here?" He ignored how he passed the barbed wire border. "What's the matter - huh? Y'all scared of the Big Bad Wolf?"

He was getting used to his old routine with his familiar leather jacket covering his body. Only thing that felt different now was the uncomfortable hold on his Lucille. And it wrecked him. "Little pig, little pig!" Neglecting his thoughts was the only thing getting him through it at the moment. No betrayal (towards Lucille), no thoughts of missed safety — no Eleanor.

"Let me in." He groaned with a sick and twisted grin. There was deep rustling in the misty distance before it was overcome by silhouettes of mangled walkers. "And there you are!"

It was a herd of about six to seven walkers and they were all growling under the snaps of twigs below their feet. Negan smirked. "Oh, I am gonna huff..." The edge of Lucille went straight to the side of a dead's head.

"I am gonna puff..." Another one dropped.

He chuckled, a really rustic and deep chuckle, "I am gonna blow..." Dropped. "Your house..." Smack. "All the way in-"

Uh oh.

A large hand dug into the edges of Negan's shoulder and in seconds, he was colliding with the wet mud under his feet. His whole body pained under the sudden contact but he rolled onto his back and looked up at the now eerily still walkers — skins.

"Alright, you big-ass freak." He smirked. "Let's do this."

i am in no way making eleanor into lucille. it's more like using representation, that lucille was once his rock but it's twisting into someone else the more he is alone

i think i kinda showed this in earlier chapters too, but yolo

anyways ALSO the cross is back :3