Regret Flows (Frerard)

Drink

The weeks flew past in a blur. Christmas came and went without much festivities, more winter storms filtered throughout the city, and Frank grew restless not having things to do. Most days, Gerard spent hours in his studio, coming out covered in paint to meet Frank only after the day had already passed. Frank started to apply for jobs, but none responded to his inquiries, which he attributed to results of a quick background check. He busied himself with household tasks; mostly laundry and cleaning since he still couldn't confidently cook, but was watching videos online teaching him the basics. He spent a considerable amount of time practicing guitar as he grew more comfortable with Gerard's routine, but was still too shy to play in front of him, so he could only fully immerse himself when he knew Gerard was out of the house running errands. 

Overall, Frank was happy with the balance they had reached. He knew Gerard's schedule, and that there was a reliable structure supporting him, but as the short days and long nights dragged on, Frank found himself thinking about drinking. Thankfully, he was able to shake the intrusive thoughts easily as he remembered Gerard, and revisited the painful memory of his disappointed eyes on the night he took him in. His love for Gerard continued to grow every time they locked eyes, whether it be in a passing glance, a deep conversation, or an intimate evening. In his time alone, Frank came to realize how much he had changed since being with Gerard, and how happy he was now that his life was on a better track. He couldn't even face the idea of dating someone just a few months ago, and now everything felt so right that he could see himself being with Gerard forever, and that didn't scare him. In his newfound comfort, his confidence also grew, resulting in a new hair style; he shaved the sides of his hair and bleached them blonde, then dyed the top long bits a deep contrasting black. Gerard boomed with excitement at his boyfriend's new artsy look, and paraded him around proudly on his arm every chance he got. 

Gerard also found his life better since meeting Frank. He spent the hours away from the twenty three year old thinking about him constantly, letting their passion and intimacy inspire his art. He replaced the large depressive painting above the dining table with a piece that was just as dark in color, but instead of seeing a man ripping his heart out, it was of a tall tree with a heart in a noose. Gerard's ego flourished as Frank fed him a bounty of compliments every time he unveiled a new work, the symptoms of his OCD had subsided, and he was no longer burning himself when he put out his cigarettes. Gerard enjoyed providing for the younger, pleading for Frank to use his account freely and make his home into theirs. He worshiped Frank, falling to his knees thanking whatever divine power created the timeline that crossed their paths. The artist found himself unable to imagine a life without him, and despite only having known Frank for a relatively short amount of time, often found himself thinking about proposing. The idea shot electrifying adrenaline through his body, aching in his joints and impeding his ability to breathe every time it crossed his mind. But, despite the anxiety, when he looked into Frank's soft eyes, he knew he would do anything for him- whether it be helping him file his taxes or hide a body- And with that revelation, he decided he would propose. 

Gerard jogged through the rain drenched yard from his studio to the house, melting as the scent of fresh brewed coffee greeted him at the door. Frank turned from the sink where he was washing vegetables with a wide smile on his face, giggling as the artist swooped him into his arms, spinning him around in a tight embrace. "I missed you!" Frank squeaked as he was set back down and pulled into a long, passionate kiss. The elder smiled as they separated, and Frank poured him a mug of steaming coffee, beginning their nightly routine. "Don't laugh, but I think I'm going to try to make dinner tonight," Frank said as Gerard glanced down into the vegetable filled sink. "if you like soup, that is- Its okay if you don-"

"That sounds amazing, honey," Gerard beamed, helpless against the beautiful smile shining back at him as he reassured Frank. "Do you want some help?" the artist offered.