Marauders preferences and Imagines

Heartache - Lily x Reader

Y/N swallowed hard, staring at the scene in front of her.
She sat in one of the armchairs of her common room, unable to tare her gaze away from the two young girls on the couch in front of her.
She gripped her book tighter as thoughts raced through her mind. She watched as they giggled, leaning closer to each other, their faces inches away.
Y/N tore her gaze away instantly as there lips touched, her heart hammering in her chest as more and more indecent thoughts flooded her head, her hands shook as her gripped tightened, her knuckles turning white, her cheeks flushed crimson red.
One thing she learned during her time at hogwarts is that wizards and witch's don't really have a concept of sexuality, there more concerned about blood status then who you choose to love which was completly alien to Y/N who was muggle born and raised in a rather strict household that upheld the 'tradional' beliefs of man and woman.
Y/n had always believed those rules, well tried too, as she entered her sixth year she noticed herself change more and more, she had never really been interested in dating boys from her year, she started to realise that she didn't really feel attracted to them either but she did feel attraction to someone else, at first she thought it was just admiration or maybe a longing for a close friendship, but as the months rolled on the thought of being something more crept into her mind.
And now she sat with images in her head she couldn't shake no matter how hard she tried. She saw her so clearly, she imagined her hands gently taking hers, the feel of her skin on hers, the way her lips would feel against her cheek, moving closer towards her lips.
Y/n shot up at the thought, her book slamming down unto the stone ground startling the two girls in front of her.
"Sorry," She mumbled, quickly leaning down to pick it up before heading to her dorms.
'What is wrong with me?!' She thought to herself as she took the steps two at a time, slamming the door behind her as she entered, the four poster beds lay barren as most of the other girls In her dorm were out enjoying there weekend, she sighed, walking over to her bed, throwing her book down, sitting besides it.
Her left legs bounced anxiously as she rang her hands together, her gaze fixed on the hardwood floor as anxiety and guilt filled her.
She glanced down at her hands, watching a droplet of water land on her skin. She gently reached her hand up to touch her cheeks, only then realising she had started crying.
She felt more slip down her cheeks, her heart tightening.
"Oh, merlin, i like her, I want to kiss her, oh god, oh merlin," the frantic mumbling filled the empty room as her eyes slowly widened in fear. "Oh, merlin, I'm in love with Lily Evans."
Y/N gulped and shakily moved further unto her bed, grabbing the curtains on each side, pulling them around herself, enclosing the entire bed and shutting herself off from the rest of the world, she slowly curled herself into a ball and sobbed, the heavy feeling in her chest growing stronger with each tear that rolled down her cheek, all she could do was wish the world would just swallow her up and take her away from all these confusing feelings.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and before Y/N knew it, she was nearing the end of her sixth year, and the longing and yearning for the redhead had grown ever stronger.
She found herself becoming a blushing mess every time she saw her. She stuttered over every word spoken to her, and the thoughts, the oh so horrid thoughts, had become stronger, more explicit, more.... desperate.
Y/n cried herself to sleep most nights, not getting any relief from sleep as each night the same nightmare plagued her, she saw so clearly the disappointment on her mother and father's face, the anger they held as she begged over and over again for forgiveness, only waking when they disowned her, leaving her sitting upright In her bed, breathing heavily and covered in sweat.
All she could do was pray this nightmare would eventually end, and these feelings would evaporate into thin air.
Today was no different, expect she couldn't seem to shake Lily, normally she managed to slip away from her, but today Lily seemed to be stuck to her like glue, sitting besides her in potions and transfiguration, walking with her everywhere and now sitting nearly glued to her at lunch.
"So me and the others are thinking of going to the hogsmead this weekend to celebrate the end of the year!" Lily smiled brightly, stabbing her fork into a piece of pancake on her plate."You'll be coming, right?"
Y/n glanced at her and nodded, gripping her fork tightly, unable to even think of eating with Lily so close "yeah I suppose so."
Lily's smile seemed to grow ever wider as she stared at the girl besides her, leaning forward slightly. "So you gonna tell me why you've been acting weird around me recently?".
"W-what, what do you mean?" y/n stuttered out, trying to keep her cheeks from warming up at her word. "I've not been acting weird."
Lily raised her eyebrows and sat back slightly, taking a mouthful of pancake as she did "yes you have, you've been avoiding me, and I think I know why."
'Oh god' y/n thought, her mind instantly going into overdrive 'she knows, she knows, she hates me she must hate me this is awful what do i do, what do I say!'
"Oh?" Y/n simply replied, turning her gaze towards the mahogany table, suddenly becoming really interested in the goblet of orange juice in front of her.
"It's obvious you should have told me you had a crush," She giggled, leaning against her slightly.
Y/n eyes suddenly widened, her heart pounded in her chest, she turned to look at Lily who was smiling ear to ear at her, y/n couldn't quiet believe what she was hearing, this had to be a dream right? She was gonna suddenly wake up in her bed, probably late for class. She discreetly pinched her hand, slightly surprised at the pain that followed, she definetly wasn't asleep.
"Y-you knew?" She whispered, staring at her closely.
Lily nodded. "I think a lot of people know, and I figured that's why you've been funny with me."
"A-a lot of people know?" Y/n squeaked, the colour she had tried so hard to keep at bay flooded to her cheeks "Oh merlin I-i'm s-sorry I didn't realise, I just didn't know how to talk about it, I didn't know how you felt"
Y/n glanced down as she felt Lily's hand on hers, the feeling making goosebumps run up her arms. She looked back up at her.
"Don't be sorry, I'm not upset. Trust me, you could have told me, though,"
"I didn't know how to" y/n admitted, feeling her throat tighten. "I didn't really understand how I felt, but I think I do now."
A pause filled the air, and y/n took in a deep breath, turning her hand over to take lily's.
"So when are you going to tell James?"
"I like you, Lily,"
Both girls' eyes widened as they spoke simultaneously, y/n felt her heart skip a beat, It felt like the whole hall had suddenly gone quiet, like it was just her and Lily.
"James?" Y/n whispered confused, pulling her hand away from Lily's.
"I-i thought you liked james," Lily whispered back, her cheeks going as red as her hair. "You like me?"
Y/n watched Lily turn away, her face changing instantly, her eyes fixed on the plate in front of her.
Y/n felt her breath catch in her throat, it was like her hole world was shattering around her, she could see the shock painting the redheads face, the girl she had falling head over heels for, looked liked she'd seen a ghost.
"Y-y/n, I'm sorry."
"N-no no its ok." y/n stood up, startling a few people around them. "I've got to go."
She turned before Lily could say another word. Trying to stay calm she walked quickly out of the great Hall, ignoring a few stares as she did, straight for the stairs, before she even realised it she was running, running up the stairs down a seemingly empty corridor.
She leaned against the wall, putting her hand over her chest, her heart hammering, a few tears streaked down her cheeks as she chocked back a sob, leaning her head back against the cold stone wall.
"How could I be so stupid."

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It's been a while. Sorry, everyone, I've been caught up with work, anyways comment below if you'd like a part two to this story!

Cas