12: Stand Your Ground

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Hermione felt a pang of guilt as she sat next to Ron, his head resting on her shoulder. He was rambling about quidditch and the techniques he wanted to try out, she did pay attention for the first five-minutes until her mind drifted off to a Slytherin.

She had to stop whatever she had with the girl. Sure, she felt safe around her, enjoyed her company, felt like she could relax around her. But Ron had been by her side since first year, they went through all those adventures together, they protected eachother and overcame so many obstacles, was she really gonna throw all that away just for some girl that she just met?

Another thing was that she didn't know if (Y/N) and her were on the same page. She didn't know if the girl saw her anything more than a tutor. But she had to, right? She's always trying to find excuses to spend time with Hermione, always talking and laughing around her.

But (Y/N) was outgoing like that, it was easy to get along with her. Was Hermione anything special to her? Hermione hated uncertainty, so she decided to stand firm on her ground and draw boundaries.

"Do you agree, Hermione?" questioned Ron suddenly with a smile on his face. The latter had no clue as to what he was saying. She returned the smile, giving a curt nod. She let out a sigh of relief when the ginger seemed satisfied with her answer and continued to ramble about himself.

She loved Ron, she really did. But she also kind of felt like their whole relationship was a last resort. Hermione was the only actual girl in his life for at least 6 years, excluding his family members. She didn't feel a spark, she never felt her heart jump around him.

She hated feelings clueless.

The next day. Hermione didn't glance at the Slytherin in the Great Hall like she usually did. She didn't look at (Y/N) when she entered class and settled herself on the desk on front of her. She didn't scold (Y/N) when the latter kept bouncing her leg and making obnoxious loud sounds from behind her. She ignored (Y/N) when she kept pulling her hair from behind, trying to get some reaction.

"Must you turn the page so loudly?" whispered Hermione with an exasperated sigh, she was starting to get impatient, but she wouldn't allow herself to face the Slytherin. "You're unbearable."

"My heart beats too fast for you to take in your insults," remarked (Y/N), snickering slightly at her own humour.

"Then use your brain."

"You insisted that I don't have one, Mione."

"Improvise." she sighed as the bell rang. She placed her textbook in her bag and got up to leave, until a hand gripped her wrist. She let out an exasperated sigh as she turned around to face the Slytherin. "(Y/N)—"

The frown that the latter wore tugged Hermione's heart strings. "Are you ignoring me? Did I do something?" queried (Y/N) with furrowed eyebrows, clearly concerned.

"No," replied Hermione nonchalantly, forcing herself to draw a line between them. "I just think that we should stop— whatever this is."

She saw (Y/N)'s face contort in confusion before it fell slightly, looking like a lost puppy. "Were you using me? For sex?" she questioned suddenly, the question took Hermione so aback that she didn't even know how to respond.

(Y/N) let go of her wrist and left the classroom. Hermione wished that she could run after her and explain that wasn't the reason at all, she wanted to tell her about these feelings that she kept fighting. But she had to stand firm on her ground. She had Ron, if she did him wrong like this she'd have to deal with Ginny and Harry, Molly was the closest thing she had to a mom now, if she went after (Y/N), she'd lose all of them.

Hermione's had life-threatening adventures since her first year, these feelings should be nothing. She can get past them, or atleast she had to.

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