World meets Maya

{6} Was it love at first sight?

When I had gotten home I saw my mom waiting for me at the table.

"Mom is everything okay?" I said taking a seat next to her, tiredness settling in my bones. Socialising is usually fun but with Farkle's exit it's been hard. My mother pursed her lips.

"Honey, Lucas came to her door ready to take you on a date and you weren't here. Did you not tell him you were going to this party?" I could see the disappointment on her face as she said this. In all honesty, I'm just wondering what he even did today.

"Well I texted him when he asked me where I was. I apologised loads mom, trust me I feel guilty now" I said. I know I shouldn't have ditched Lucas but lately going on dates with him feels like something we HAVE to do rather than something we want to. "He said it was okay mom"

I shoot him a text anyway, asking what he did today.

She nodded her head, "Okay honey, I guess he did say that it was fine. He was a little upset though." My mom cares for everyone in my friend group deeply and i'm so grateful to have such a loving mother. I'm even more grateful that she knows when something is wrong. "Is everything okay Riley?"

I let out a sigh and I turn off my phone just as a reply from Lucas comes in. I forget about instantly. "I don't know if I love him mom. Not the way i'm supposed to."

I've been holding it in for a while, I know I love Lucas but it doesn't feel as deep as it should be, I could mark it up to us just being young but even then I feel deep about everything in my life. With Lucas being my boyfriend, it doesn't feel that way.

"You know, with me and your dad, it was love at first sight. Was it that way with you?"

I think about it. The first time I saw him, it was really Maya who noticed him and in middle school, it was often Maya who realised my feelings for me. My mind randomly goes to Farkle for some reason, with him I knew I loved him as soon as I met him but it wasn't that kind of love. Was it?

I stand up abruptly and start walking to my room. "Riley where are you going? Don't you wanna talk about this"

I turn around slowly "I do, but I gotta think about some stuff first mom"

She nods her head again and tells me goodnight before kissing my forehead and leaving as well.

When I get to my room I chuck my stuff on the bed and flop down on it. I didn't mean to upset Farkle earlier, I just meant that his cool wasn't like jock cool and that's okay, I like him like that. I like HIM. I cover my face up with my hands

I don't know who i'm kidding, I only went to this party so I can feel what it's like to be popular and be girlfriends with the cheerleaders. I mean yeah they're fake sometimes but they're so bubbly like me.

However, they are Lucas's teammates and group. I'm just the girlfriend. With my mind split between this weird dilemma of needing to be popular and Farkle, I feel insane.

I shake my head get up and start talking to myself, you know as you usually do.

"Okay Riley, stop thinking about Farkle. You are a girlfriend. You are Lucas Friar's girlfriend and you have great friends and everything is perfect"

Yet as I'm saying this, I already see this summer crumbling apart.