World meets Maya

{18} Forgive but not forget

Dropping everyone off was a quiet but awkward affair, 'Mess is Mine' by Vance Joy was playing quietly from Lucas's phone connected to his aux. Maya would often look in the mirror to look at her friends in the backseat, to see Smackle asleep on Zay's shoulder while he combed her hair with his fingers, he sat still to make sure her head didn't fall off.

Riley was squished against Farkle's side, who had his arm around the back of her head in order to make room. However, Maya secretly thinks he wanted to do that anyway. No one tried to talk because they were all so tired. Farkle was dropped off first, he gave an intense look to Riley, silently exchanging words with their eyes and smiled before he shut the car door.

When Riley was dropped off Maya followed her to the door of her building. "Maya can whatever you're about to ask wait till tomorrow?" Riley said, her eyes misty. She didn't even say goodbye back to Lucas when he said it. When she didn't reply Lucas had just looked to his shoes in the car awkwardly.

"Riley, how much do you like Farkle exactly" Maya asks wondering if it was all for nothing.

"A lot Maya, a lot more than I ever liked Lucas I fear." She replies, after this there's a long silence before Maya turns to leave but not before Riley finishes what she has to say. "and I didn't know how to say this but I think Farkle loves me. I don't know how to say no to that, not when he's the reason I feel so strong"

Maya knows she's telling the truth but she can't help feeling more concerned for Lucas here. "Well maybe you could start by remembering you have a boyfriend who loves you too" Maya doesn't turn back to look at her when she says this to Riley. She just continues to the car wondering if she was too harsh, if she was getting to involved in this.

When she's back in the car Lucas asks her if she's alright and she feels racked with guilt for not telling him. She decides she will be there for him when Riley decides to tell him, for whatever mess is his, it shall be hers too. He won't ever be alone because he would never let her be alone.  "I'm fine huckleberry, just tired"

Zay watched through the centre mirror, Smackle had whispered to him earlier that she shoved Riley and Farkle in the closet and she knew they had kissed, she was happy about it for a while. She had then whispered in the other ear, sounding hurt, she doesn't think this mission is a good idea anymore. Zay decided not to involve Smackle anymore because of this. He doesn't want her to feel anymore guilty even if she hadn't done anything wrong.

As he watched Maya and Lucas in the front seats, he had a knowing feeling that they would be together even without his help. Lucas dropped Smackle and Zay off at her house, he tucked Smackle into bed and left because her parents weren't there, she had told him earlier they were rarely ever there. She had sounded sad and Zay wanted to take all her sadness and bear it for himself.

"Keeping hanging on, darlin" He kissed her forehead and walked his short distance home.

When Lucas reached Maya's flat they had sat in the car for a little bit longer.

"You know as much as that party crashed out in the end, it was pretty fun" He says smiling at her.

"Well maybe instead of picking me up from them, you could join me more" Maya says smiling back. "They make good distractions from things"

Lucas nods his head. "Yeah they do and maybe I will join you, only if I get a turn shooting the ping pong gun"

"Oh so NOW you're a fan of them. I thought you hated those back in middle school remember" she says recalling the memory from middle school, where they broke into Cory's drawer.

Lucas whole-heartedly laughs as he remembers. "Well I guess things have changed a lot since then" he says quietly looking over at her, with a different depth in his eyes.

They're having another moment and Maya doesn't want to break this one, so she keeps talking. "what would you need a distraction from Ranger Rick?"

"I don't know Maya, suddenly I got all these decisions to make and I don't know what's the right answer" he says sighing. He's thinking about Texas and he's thinking about her.

"I get it" Mayas thinking about her dad and she's thinking about Lucas. He raises his eyebrows urging her to expand. She decides to talk about her dad. "You know I got the whole daddy issues personality right? well my biological dad-"

"Kermit the muppet?"

"shut up sundance let me finish"

"The muppet, has been sending me letters and i've been leaving them unopened. I opened two random ones, one was a very late birthday letter and the other well was one hoping for forgiveness, hoping to make amends." Maya takes note of how intensely he's listening and it encourages her to go on. "I spent so long resenting this man, I'm kind of done with it now but i'm also done pretending he doesn't exist like he did to me. I don't know if it's time to forgive, I mean he's trying so do I owe him that"

Lucas takes a deep pause from replying and Maya is scared she's talked too much, worried that she's being a bother. He surprises her by taking her hand. "There is NO obligation for you to forgive him but you can forgive and not forget, pick the option that will benefit YOU. You've grown into a wonderful human being without him, you're doing well for yourself and you've never let him tear you down. So don't think you owe him anything. Finally, daddy issues is not your personality. The only person that makes Maya who she is, is you."

Maya doesn't know what to say, she thinks this is her favourite moment ever. So she hugs him, "Thank you Lucas" she says quietly trying not to cry.

Lucas hugs her back and when they break apart, Maya leaves the truck. He watches as she leaves, a heavy feeling in his heart. That is until she stops walking suddenly. She turns around and walks back to the car gesturing for him to roll down the window.

"Lucas, not matter what decision you make, it'll be the right one because everything that we do, we do for a reason and it will all turn out the way it's supposed to. Plus you have the best judgement so i'd stand by you not matter what" She says this quickly not letting him reply and runs into her building.

The heavy feeling is lighter in Lucas's chest and he's smiling all giddy to himself. He knows that whatever mess Maya has, the mess shall be his too.