World meets Maya

{19} Can I just forget it all

A few months before the present...

It's March and Maya receives yet another letter from Kermit, her biological father. She decides to open this one in rage from the day she's had and she first notices that her name is spelled wrong and she notices it's a birthday letter. Her birthday was a month ago, when she opened the letter that came on her actual birthday hoping for pity money, it was just him hoping for forgiveness, but this one she sees the date and it's confirmed he doesn't know exactly when her birthday is. She's sad and heaves a sigh, Kermit said he wants to make amends but he's doing a god awful job at it so far.

She tries not to think about the broken childhood memories she has. Of a drunk father who's violently throwing things, who's yelling and who never talks to 8 year old Maya. He gave her one present when she was little and it was a necklace, a cheap meaningless one. He probably bought at the time out of guilt because it was around this time he decides to make a run for it. As soon as he left them, Maya chucks it into the nearest body of water and considers whether she should dive in and get it out. Every year after that day she would come to the same place she threw it and just sit with the sounds of flowing river.

Shawn had walked in after Maya finished reading the letter. He notices it in her hands and looks up at her, seeing tears in her eyes. "You wanna go watch a movie with me kiddo?" he asks her "Snacks and tickets on me"

Maya immediately cheers up and drops the letter to the side.

"Of course it's on you dad. I ain't wasting my money" She says as Shawn laughs at her quip. Maya does end up buying the drinks but she's okay with that because at least he is with her. 

A couple days after that

Maya is 18 years old when she goes to see Josh at his college party on a random friday night in April. He's drunk and tripping over everything as he usually is at these things. She tries to talk to him and tries to help him but he won't let her.  He was the one who invited her and yet he wants nothing to do with her.  His behaviour is awfully a lot like Kermit's and she starts to panic. In the past year, Maya has given a lot of guys chances to date her and they all end up disappointing her by either being dicks or getting bored of her. So she's here with Josh trying to get the long game shorter but alot has changed since the ski trip. Maya doesn't really like him the same way she always had, she chalks it up to her not being a kid anymore.

Suddenly, in a particular drunk outburst he walks out of the bedroom, yelling how angry he is that he got rejected by the girl in the room. His friends are rowdy and they all support his anger but Maya thinks he should calm down. She knows it's because he is drunk that he's acting like this. She knows Josh isn't this, in the past times she's visited, he'd get angry and hurt Maya accidentally cause of it but he'd always apologise after, and she would accept it. However, that doesn't mean it doesn't pain her inside when he shoves her into a wall after she tries to guide him by the arm away from all the glass bottles he was going to fall into.

The push causes Maya to bang her head against the wall and she clutches it as a reflex, wincing in pain. No one saw that Josh did that, no one sees how she pulls her hand away and there's blood on it. Maybe they do see, maybe they chose to ignore. Maya feels humiliated and hurt especially at what he does after.

"Just go home Maya! inviting you was a mistake, I don't need you." He slurs drunkenly not realising how hard he pushed her as he walks back to the group of friends who shuffle awkwardly on the spot. Maya doesn't waste anytime in leaving, ignoring all the stares from the girls who did nothing. She suspects they all like Josh too. When she's in the hallway tears spring in her eyes but she pulls it together and makes the decision to never tell anyone what has happened. The humiliation calms down but she's embarrassed FOR Josh. How can a grown man be so immature and reckless. She walks out the building and goes home. She knocks on her neighbour Nancy's door, Nancy is a nurse and helps patch up Maya's head, she starts asking questions but only because she's worried. So Maya assured her she's fine and thanks her profusely before going inside her flat up to her room and under the covers. Josh doesn't apologise this time but even if he did, Maya isn't sure she would've accepted it.

On Monday morning she wakes and goes to school, opting to walk as she knows riding her bike will make her headache worse. When sitting with her friends, it's Lucas who notices her wincing. He goes to ask what's wrong but Maya holds up her hand and says nothing in fear she'll burst into tears. So Lucas says nothing but he fishes out some pain medicine and slides it to Maya, who takes it gratefully. Maya knows Lucas isn't expecting any answers, she knows this because he's a nice guy, and despite his history with violence he never gets violent when he's drunk and rarely ever when's he sober and if he does, he always listens to reason. She knows this because he's unbelievably kind and he's got some sort of magic that makes you hope, makes you think everything will be okay. She knows this because even when's he's angry at you, he will never leave and he will always be there for you.

So Maya takes a deep breath and tells him that she was having boy trouble and banged her head a little too hard. She was trying to insinuate that she hurt her head all on her own but Lucas is smart and he knows that someone hurt her.

"Tell me who and I'll kill em" He says his jaw clenched. Maya smiles at his protectiveness but she shakes her head.

"I don't want you to" She says, looking at him she doesn't need to calm him down because as soon as she smiles, he relaxes.  "He's not worth the effort"

"Tell me and I'll make him ride a bull" He says in attempt to make her laugh and she does laugh. It makes Lucas very happy. Maya tells Zay after, she couldn't tell Riley because Josh is her uncle and Maya isn't interested in making family drama.

Zay says nothing that day but the next day he comes back with a video and shows how a bucket of manure is poured on Josh. Maya gasps.

"Oh my god Zay that's a bit extreme" Maya says laughing. Zay says he doesn't care and Maya gives him a hug and hopes Josh never knows it was him that did that.

Farkle comes up to Maya that day too and admits he overheard her and Lucas. Maya is tired of remembering it and honestly couldn't care less. Or at least she thought she did, but when Farkle walks her home and lets her start talking about it, it ends with her crying and Farkle hugging her. His listening ears and embrace helps her a lot.

Maya realises that no matter how many men disappoint her she will always have these three, who will never fail to make her happy. When Riley and Isadora come to her house that night with snacks and movies, simply because they thought she could use it, Maya realises more that she will never need a man as long as she has her girls.

When they leave and go to Lucas's truck that's parked outside, Lucas uses her bathroom when he comes out he thanks her and he says "You do not owe Josh a single thing and  your presence is a gift he will never deserve. No one does, you're too extraordinary for that"

Maya realises she loves him deeply, and she wishes that she never told him to find Riley that day at the ski lodge. She wishes he found her instead, that he made his own decision and even more than that, she wishes he chose her.

Maya doesn't say anything to that but instead she hugs him tight and hopes that she'll learn to let him go one day.