(Somewhat angsty) Good omens one shots

Happy valentines

Since it's valentines (season) and my birthday soon have some angst! TW: self harm and suicide.

As Aziraphale sat at his desk he realised he didn't think he had ever been this nervous for anything in his looong lifetime. It felt similar to the 'butterflies in the stomach' saying except these butterflies were very hungry, very angry and enjoyed snacking on angelic stomach lining. So not great.

But nonetheless he was excited. Very excited. He didn't know how he had waited so long to do this. One question. One answer. Perfection.

And now he could spend the next 5 months meticulously planning every second. Yay. But he wanted it to be perfect so he would sit at his desk every day and plan. And every day he would battle the carnivorous butterflies if it meant they could be happy. They both deserved it.

Crowley how ever was not handling it so well, he was currently crying into a bottle of vodka as his whiskey had run out 3 and a half hours ago.

He had known it was coming obviously, how could he not! They had been together for 8 years, in human terms that's a tenth of their life! So of course his ang- No not his. Of course Aziraphale would go and do something so human as propose, he was with a human after all.

Not that it was the first time, oh no not even the 5th or 6th no at least the 17th! Which, Crowley supposed, was reasonable for 6000 years but they hadn't really know each other all that well for the first 5000 or so. And to make it even worse, after the apocanope him and Aziraphale had been getting closer, spending more time together and they had been more comfortable together. He really thought he might have a chance. The angel even seemed to stop dating humans, he hadn't had a partner for at least 250 years...then he met him.

He was... well he was just like Aziraphale: kind, bookish, posh, and fiercely intelligent. Which is why it wasn't a surprise that when Crowley was finally introduced to him the first thing he said (in private) was "You seem really nice and like you care a lot but, I have to ask, how long have you loved him mate?"

Now Crowley was annoyed by this poor man's existence so when he called him nice... well to say he was angry was an understatement. Then! Then he had the AUDACITY to ask that question. The one him and Aziraphale had been dancing around for hundreds, maybe thousands, of years. Yeah anger didn't come close.

"Longer than you could possibly comprehend, mate." The demon replied with more venom in his voice than all the snakes in the universe and more ice in the last word than the arctic tundra.

"And you're ok with y'know this going ahead?" The blasted man asked as though Crowley wasn't having his heart ripped out every second just from thinking about it.

"Well not really! But I guess it's not my place to say who he gets to marry is it?" Crowley laughed through gritted teeth, proud that he hadn't gagged when he said that word.

"Oh, well I would say since you've known him so long you might have little influence? He talks about you y'know so he does care about you." Crowley was about to gut this liar! Pretending to care! That was low.

"Haha, well yeah that's great and I hope he has a wonderful day but I really have to go now." He hoped that sounded fake enough for this imbecile who thinks Aziraphale will remember him after he died. Ha! You wish mate.

"Er bye?"

"Bye!"

As Crowley stormed out he had to keep a fake smile plastered on his face or he would surely turn and rip his throat out. But when he got into his car, shut the door and let himself breathe he couldn't stop the tears.

By the time he got home he felt like a shell, like he was only there to house a broken heart. Crying over alcohol wasn't going to cut it now. He had to do something more...painful.

So he did what he used to think was stupid humans overreacting and grabbed the scissors.

Yes, safe to say he was definitely not handling it well.

Aziraphale however was talking to his fiancé, "So? How did it go my dear?"

"Um he seemed...nice?"

"Yes, he was always so nice to me but he insisted he was evil and closed off." The angel laughed, reminiscing times when he could spend time with his demon without banging on about his fiancé.

"Hm, he seemed a bit...jumpy?"

"Well he was never good at meeting new people...and I'm sure he wants you to like him, he cares a lot about m- those things."

"I'm sure that was it."

That however was obviously not it and it worried the angel as he still cared very much for Crowley even if the demon didn't quite realise that. So maybe Crowley was just...in a rush. Right? He knew deep down, however much he cared about a human, they would never come between him and Crowley. No he thought they had known each other far too long for 1 human to be truly significant.

Crowley disagreed, well not entirely. 1 human in the early days of their relationship was perfectly fine, expected even, but he had been convinced that was all it was. A small distraction before he had realised his true feelings, but then there was another one...and another one...and another one...and so on and everyone had to draw the line somewhere (just because Crowleys was very far back didn't mean it want there) and this was where the demon drew his.

So he gave up hope and after hours his once smooth arms were a checkerboard of thin red lines. Then, on his hands and knees, he crawled over to the safe and clawed it open and grabbed around inside for the tartan thermos flask. The pattern was surely meant to remind the demon of the angel who gifted it to him and it certainly worked, although as he was the reason for taking it, it didn't help all that much. So when he undid the lid, tipped it upside down and watched the last sparkling drop run into his mouth he had zero regrets. He even, as horrible as it sounds, hoped that when the stupid human dies and his angel is left alone he will realise that he truly is utterly alone. And he hopes it hurts.

He didn't even think Aziraphale would notice he was gone, far too caught up in his little marriage to a little human.

He was wrong. A day or two later, when Aziraphale sent an invitation to his wedding, he was starting to get very worried. He hadn't heard from Crowley for two days, which ten years ago would have been totally normal but today worried him a lot. Sure he had been more distant since he heard about his fiancé but he usually at least called to check in.

So yes he was very worried but he waited another week before calling Crowley (incase he was busy or at least that's what he had told himself) but there was obviously no answer, so he called again the next day...and the next...and the next...and the day after that he finally caved and miracled himself into Crowleys flat. Only to be faced with a puddle of goo spread across the floor, it lay against the wall with the outline of long legs stretched to the table. It was so well defined in fact that Aziraphale could see where the arm of his best friend had been...

Refusing to believe that it truly was him he knelt down and stuck his finger in it...and sure enough it was the remains of a demon mixed with holy water. Not only that but he recognised the holy from when he had given it to Crowley. Then he collapsed onto the floor next to the outline of  his oldest and dearest friend and cried.

He wailed for hours until he had no tears left and his throat was raw but still he cried. He miracled them to Alpha Centauri and wept for centuries until his corporal form gave out but still his spirt cried. His tears were still falling silently when the world ended and he continued to cry until the stars around him and planets under him exploded. In the end he was the last survivor of the Great War and this technically made him ruler of heaven and hell but still he cried.

Legend says he's still crying! I hope you all enjoyed that, I nearly didn't finish it on time once again but look I updated this week!So I think from now on I'll update either every week or every other week depending on what u have ready. Any way hope you have a great day today/tonight/tomorrow and if it's late GET SOME SLEEP and drink some water  it's important and keeps you well so pls be safe and healthy. Byee xx 🎈🎈