Broad Love

Chapter Two

~Dan~

It hurts. Seeing Phil happy with his new wife and new life. There he was kissing Cat with lips that once kissed me long ago, as if nothing between us ever happened. I couldn't say anything, though. I promised myself I wouldn't get in the way of their happiness.

When PJ and I went to help Phil unpack his belongings in his new house, Cat acted somewhat hostile towards us. Whilst I was disappointed that Phil loved someone who hated me, I was actually very glad because I was given a reason to dislike her. Something about Cat made me very suspicious about her, like I knew that one day she would fuck up. It hadn't happened yet, but I knew it would some day.

After leaving Phil and Cat's house, PJ and I went back to our flat. It was strange, calling it ours instead of mine and Phil's. Sometimes I'd hear sounds from the kitchen late at night and for a second I'll think it's Phil eating my cereal, but it's just PJ having a midnight glass of milk. I miss having Phil as a flatmate.

"Dan? Are you okay? I'm kicking your ass at Mario Kart and that never happens. Is something wrong?" PJ paused the game we were playing and looked at me sympathetically.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just thought I'd get over my feelings for Phil after so long, but seeing him today kind of made it worse." I looked down at my hands embarrassingly still feeling awkward about talking to PJ about this sort of stuff.

"How 'bout I get you some chocolate? We have loads."

"Do we have any beer?" PJ stopped his search for candy and looked at me sternly. "Dan, you know that you can't have anything to drink. We don't want you-"

"I'm not going to get back into it, okay? Just one drink wouldn't hurt."

"You've been six months clean, do you really want to break that streak?"

I thought for a second. "No." I sighed. Before Phil moved out, I developed a serious drinking problem. When PJ found out, he moved in and tried to get me help. It was working, as he said I was six months clean but sometimes I really needed it. Although if PJ hadn't helped me, I don't know where I'd be. Probably face down in a ditch somewhere.

"That's a good boy." He handed me a box of chocolate. "Here, eat up."

"Thanks Peej." I took the box gratefully and shoved a raspberry filled candy into my mouth hungrily. "You really know how to make a girl happy."

He laughed loudly at my remark. "Only for you."

After cheering me up, we continued our game of Mario Kart where I did in fact kick his ass. It's always funny seeing him lose since he says things like "winning games is irrelevant" or "well at least we had fun so winning doesn't really matter" but when he wins a game he's all "you see I'm the master at mastering you" and "you can suck it because I'm the best". It's very entertaining. It's moments like that when I forget about everything I've lost and even thoughts of Phil couldn't bring me down. It makes me feel glad that I'm not actually alone.

Once our game was done and dinner was eaten, we both sat on our asses in the lounge scrolling through tumblr. I try not to look at my tag anymore, as it's full of fans wondering why Phil and I never make videos together anymore or why Phil moved out. The only thing they know is that PJ moved into our flat and Phil moved out, nothing about Phil getting married. Though now PJ helps me with videos and I do the same for him. It's not like he could ever replace Phil, but he's certainly taken up the responsibility that a best friend has. He's there for me when not even Phil is, and for that I'm glad.