Broad Love

Chapter Three

~PJ~

I still haven't told him yet. I don't think I ever want to, but I know I should. This is exactly what happened to him with Phil and look what's happened. I was right. I needed to tell him before something else gets in the way. But he still has feelings for him, do you really think he'll just drop him? I could never stop Dan from loving someone else, but I could get him to love me. I don't know when it happened or why or how, but what I did know was I was in love with Dan Howell.

I really didn't want to put a name on my sexuality, but I guess I was pansexual. I just liked whoever I liked and it never bothered me. Though if I had to choose a preference, it would be boys. Girls were so hard to please sometimes and they were so complicated. They were beautiful too, though; I just thought boys were less stressful and, well, sexier.

Dan was probably the sexiest boy I'd ever met and honestly he had me swooning from the very start. He only sees me as a friend, though. Also no matter how hard I try, I can't get him to forget about Phil. When Dan first told me he was in love with Phil, I was both happy and disappointed. Happy because "holy fuck the guy I like is actually gay", but disappointed because he was set on someone else. Dan always talked about the pain he felt when he saw Phil and Cat together, but I don't think it could compare with the pain I felt knowing Dan was pining for a different boy.

The good thing to come of Phil and Cat's relationship is Dan was now free. I could swoop in and make him mine and nothing could stop me form doing so. I knew what I wanted and I was going to go after it. 

One night when we were talking in Dan's bedroom, I decided that that was when I was going to tell him how I felt. There he was in a black sweater with the sleeves going over his hands looking absolutely adorable; it had me smitten. His bronze brown eyes with rings of gold reflected the city light pouring through the window and I knew I had to tell him right then and there, or else I would have wasted a beautiful opportunity.

"Dan?"

He looked up from his phone. "Yeah?"

I took a deep breath. "I need to tell you something...."