To Love Your Best friend [B×B]

Chapter 12- How can I ever again?

[Jai' s POV]

Should I be happy or sad? Sad for him or happy for me...and I honestly don't know. My mind is all dizzy as I fell into my bed,the duvet cradling around me. Karthik stayed with me the whole time today,didn't even talked with his new "friends."

It felt weird,it crept me out. I was scared that I might jinx this moment because I never wanted to end. How far have we came? That him hanging out with me all day feels weird. What was the last time this happened? I have not idea...

My head feels empty,I can nausea in my mind as my eyes go black and I faint....

****

"Jai..Karthik is here. Did you forget about the sleepover? For how long will you sleep now beta." My mumma nudges me as the exposure of light hits my eyes making them shrink. "Yes,I'm getting up. You can send him here." She nods and gives me a small kiss on my forehead before leaving.

My mumma is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and I mean it. I remember being eight and crying because I didn't wanted to leave my mother's side  and wanted to sleep in my parents's room. My dad was so annoyed and jealous because he wanted my mom all to himself.

We still joke about this incident. One of the best memory and it is the cause of many iconic breakfast talks.

My thoughts are interrupted as Karthik plops down on my bed,making it bounce. "Hi!" He chirps. "What are you doing?" He gives me a cheeky smile and my heart swells. God..he is so beautiful. Damn...

"Nothing." I bring my legs closer to my chest and rest my head on top of my knees. He seems better comparative to that day,which was a week ago. He still talks about her,then gets sad and comes to me for comfort. But he is healing and moving on..which obviously matters more.

"Okay! So how about we pull an all-nighter? It is Sunday tomorrow and we can catch up with each other...and your little secret.." His eyes sparkle upon the last few words which came out of his mouth. I give him a small smile because physically..I'm unable to give him a big,full and a real smile. I cannot give it to anyone and I hate that.

"Sure." I said,my voice low. "But,first let's arrange mattress and duvet for you." He he nods and does help me as I requested him.

We both lie down. Me on my bed and Karthik on the lower with his duvet wrapped around him. He is looking at the ceiling while my mind is focused on him and him only.

"Are you not curious about what happened that day?" He questions.

"I thought you were not comfortable enough to talk about it. That's why I didn't asked." I reply.

"Ohh...our little JJ is still so thoughtful." He chuckles and butterflies flood over my stomach instantly,so does my heart break. It will break more knowing what will happen if I don't stop now.

He continues." So..that day,I went to her and we did a little small talk. I told her that I needed to confess something . She asked what and I told her that I like her,she grew still and apologised. She told me that she is,actually,lesbian. I apologised too,saying I didn't knew and I'm truly sorry for making her uncomfortable." His voice slowly growing heavier. " I walked out of there and made my way to home fast,I broked down as soon as I reached my room." Tears started to prickle his eyes. But I was not able to feel anything,I just feel like a lifeless body,as I stare into the wall. Listening to whatever he has to say.

"Then you came and it felt better." He smiled. As tears started to flow from his eyes,as his sobs grew louder in the silent room.

Gathering up my courage,I asked him, "Do you need a hug?" Knowing it will hurt me more.

I don't even know if I am asking this for him or me. I wish I had someone to tell me the answer...

He nods and I stand up from my bed,kneeling in front of him to give him a hug. He falls into my arm and his sobs grows heavier. I pat his back while holding myself back.

"How will I ever fall for someone else after this incident? It scares me,Jai." He questions. And even I don't know. I also wonder.

****

How can I also fall for someone else? When you are literally part of my whole life and know me better than anyone else.
You should never love your bestfriend.

****

Hello! Happy last day of the year.
Also happy new year in advance. Hope you guys have fun :)).
Thank you for reading <3.