Daylight

Chapter 49: Don't look back

"Look who decided to show up," Lucy said between breaths as soon as Lauren passed through the hospital room door.

As in all areas of her life, Lauren liked to pay attention to details and what words couldn't say, observing the brunette's posture, her half-bandaged face, and the small expression lines on her face that she once knew so well, she knew that Lucy was in defense mode.

"I'm not here for lies or perverse games," Lauren said pulling out the visitor's chair and sitting beside the bed, she wanted to observe the woman up close.

"That would be something new for both of us," Lucy said venomously and Lauren frowned.

"Not for me" Her posture was upright "I never played with your feelings" She hesitated "But that's not what I came to discuss"

She saw the bandage on the woman's face and Lucy rolled her eyes in her direction "What are you here for then?" She spat out the words "To humiliate me? Hit me some more?" She groaned in pain "What do you want from me?"

"I thought it was time we talk" Lauren sighed, she'd to be patient to deal with Lucy "Resolve our past"

Lucy looked at her suspiciously or, rather, in disbelief. Lauren didn't blame her, for all the times that Lauren said she forgave her for something she'd done she'd never really sat down and talked about it.

Looking at the woman with a vulnerable expression, Lauren felt a little guilty, even though she knew Lucy had sought her fury.

Lauren felt a tightness in her chest, one day she loved this woman and Lauren would have given her everything, done everything she wanted.

"Why?" She found herself asking "I don't understand why, didn't I give you everything?" She was curious "Why do you always need more?"

"I ..." Lucy hesitated, Lauren had never asked her that question, they had just been pretending that nothing had happened. Maybe that was their mistake... "I don't know" Lucy was sincere at last "I was happy, for a while... Before Luna, I believe"

Lauren's eyes lit up.
"Don't blame her" Lauren denied trying to control herself "You had a choice..."

"Did I?" Lucy challenged.

—————-——— flashback —————————-

"Lauren, I don't think it's time to have children" The brunette sighed hugging the raven "It's very early, we can travel, live a little..."

"Luce," That's what Lauren called her, "I think it will be good for us"

"Did the doctor say you only have three months of ovulation left?" Lucy sighed "This is putting us in a hot spot"

"Yes" Lauren didn't want to talk about her diagnosis, the fact was that in three months she wouldn't be able to have children, well, she couldn't have them now but she was still producing eggs so it was possible for someone else to carry it "The choice is yours anyway, Luce, it's your body... I'm not pressuring you"

——————— end flashback———————-

"Don't you dare imply I pressured you" Lauren said grimly "I said it would be your choice to implant my eggs or not" Lauren was angry, how dare Lucy imply that Lauren forced her to have children when the raven was the first to say that genetics was the last thing that mattered to her, when in the end it didn't matter anyway "And you that didn't matter in the end" Lauren expressed her thoughts.

"And would you have stayed with me if I had said no?" The woman said desperately "You would have found another woman to carry your children in the blink of an eye"