DEJA VU | OSCAR DÍAZ

|6:PROMISE?|

|LEILANI|
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Monday
June 18th, 2023
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I screamed loud when Oscar crashed into me, the steering wheel turned left and I was sent flying into the wall. I turned to look at Oscar and he was laughing hard as he held up his middle finger and drove past me.

"That's not fair!" I called out as I tried to back my go kart away from the wall but no matter how much I tried I couldn't do it fast enough and I was being hit again, "shit or get off the pot grandma!" Oscar stuck his tongue out at me again as he zoomed past to do another lap in my face.

That would be the eighth time Oscar sped past me since we've been here, I think anyone else would be irritated by this but Oscar has always been a very big sore winner. And it was nice to see that this is something about him that didn't change, he was always so playful- annoyingly playful.

He was also the biggest bragger I had ever known, he was so much like Uncle Rafa and I adored that man. I used to have the fattest crush on Oscar's dad, and it was really innocent- I loved him so much because he was just so fun.

I thought Jade was so lucky to be married to him, I wanted a husband exactly like that. He would always do things so big, he was extremely dramatic but he always did whatever he could to put a smile on our faces.

But when it came to games, he was never that adult that would let us win. He'd crush us mercilessly and boast in our faces about it, the same way Oscar is doing right now.

Uncle Rafa had a way of making things feel like it would be okay, he made life happy and beautiful. Life stopped being happy and beautiful whenever he went away, and Oscar stopped being that playful boy I used to know.

I didn't move my kart I just sat there and watched Oscar dust me over and over again, until he slowed down infront of me while going in reverse "what's wrong with you? Tired of sucking so bad?" He asked and I shook my head as I smiled at him.

"I don't even know how to drive," I said and his laughter faded "are you joking?" He asked and I smiled as I slowly shook my head, "everyone's tried to teach me- everyone from Uncle Dwayne to Ruben, Mario and even Cesar. But I never got it, Brandon tried the longest but I get really scared behind the wheel."

Oscar shifted the gear in his cart and slowly moved closer to me, "why?" He asked as he rested his arms on the wheel and I shrugged as I looked down at my hands, I didn't really want to talk about it but when I looked up at Oscar something about him made me feel like it was okay.

He just has these kind eyes that made me feel like he was really listening, he reminded me of my Dad in that sense because no matter what my Dad always listened.

Oscar just reminded me of the good times in my childhood before everything went to shit, "when we were younger-" I closed my eyes for a second and took a breath before looking at Oscar again.

"Stef was about two years old, Mom was nowhere to be found. She was always gone, Daniel would pop up and come get her. We'd always hear her arguing with him and the other Santos, she would say things like she'll go as long as they left her girls alone." My voice cracked as I thought back to it.

At first she'd fight them, then she'd stop fighting and give in at the mentioning of me and Amber. It made me feel like it was all my fault, Amber's Mom was an addict and an alcoholic. She had a Mother in my Mom, then she lost her- that's two Mothers down for my sister.