love you until the very end. - OMORI SUNTAN

chapter fifteen

Kel put Sunny down on his bed, and he sat next to him. Sunny wasn't reassured by the idea of having a talk with Kel.
-"a talk about what ?" he nervously asked.
-"Sunshine... i want us to have a talk about your problems. since i'm your boyfriend now, i need to know more things about your life and problems."
-"oh.."
-"so, how's it going with your family ?"
-"my family ?.. oh well.. it's not as good as i wanted..." Sunny seemed a bit annoyed but sad too.
-"could you explain ? what happening ?"
-"my father... ever since Mari's death, he's... how to say that... abusive ?" Sunny chuckled nervously.
-"abusive ? what is he doing to you ?" Kel was worried.
-"ever since Mari's death, ever since he knew The Truth about her death, he abuses me mentally and physically." Kel nodded, his face showing concern. he waits for Sunny to add more.
-"he always pressures me, he wants me to have grades upper than 16, he always calls me names like "useless" or "freak", many others. he always classifies me as "not good enough", even though i'm trying my best. he hits me when he's too mad, he always makes me feel guilty, insecure because i'm too thin." Sunny felt bad to talk about it, but somehow it was relieving.
-"oh Sunshine, im sorry that happens, im here for you okay ? is this often ?" Sunny made a smile but sighed, looking down, cracking his fingers out of stress and nervousness.
-"everyday."
-"everyday !?" Kel was stunned. he cleared his throat and hugged Sunny, stroking his hair.
-"it's okay now, i'm here for you ? come talk to me whenever you feel like to. and remember that you can always report your father for child abuse, right ?"
-"thank you... but i can't report him, he'd kill me."
-"he wont, because he can't... and i suppose that all of this abuse is one thing that triggered your self harm, hm ? could you please tell me why you did that ? i will not judge you, i want to help."
-"it's.. multiples things.. because of the guilt, the pressure, my abuse, to make me feel the pain i inflict to the others too."
-"hey, it's okay Sunshine. you don't have to do this to yourself because your guilty, or to inflict yourself the pain "you inflict" to the others. you only worsen your state... you're loved, and you're worth living, okay ? it's gonna be okay, i'm with you." these were the words Sunny wanted to hear for years, and he couldn't but start to sob, holding Kel tighter.
-"why not writing down your thoughts ? or the things that makes you mad ? or just hit your pillow !" Kel proposed to Sunny, trying to get Sunny to do something else instead of cutting.
-"i-i'll try." he continued to sob.
-"shhh, let it all out... you can cry as much as you want." and that's what Sunny did. he cried so much, gripping on Kel's shirt while hugging him.
-"today or tomorrow, i want you to give me all of your blades, every cutting objects, and promise you'll stop this ?" Kel stroked Sunny's hair, comforting his crying boyfriend. Sunny nodded, unable to speak because of how much he was crying.

                                      **
Sunny managed to talk about his traumas, mental illnesses, hi thoughts [...] with Kel, and it somewhat made him feel better. to ease Sunny's mind, Kel took him to on a walk, in a forest not really far from the town, which had a river crossing it. it was a beautiful place, as Kel knew that Sunny loved the forest.
-"feeling better, Sun ?" asked Kel.
-"yeah, i am, thanks." Sunny smiled softly, but something was suddenly thinking of something. "Kel, what time is it ?"
-"hm.." he looked at his phone. "7:04pm"
-"damn it im late !" Sunny quickly stood up, a bit too quickly that he got a bit dizzy but he didn't minded
-"oh ? but you said 7:15pm." Kel stood up too, confused.
-"my father told me to be back at 7..."
-"oh shit, then we should hurry !"
Kel and Sunny hurried to get back as soon as possible. once arrived, Sunny hugged his boyfriend, and shared his worries of what his father will do to him because he came back late. obviously, Kel had to reassure him and he told him that he could call if anything went wrong.

...

-"vraćaš se kasnije a ?"(coming back later huh ?) Sunny's father said firmly.
-"nisam želeo da."(i did not want to.) Sunny answered, taking off his shoes. Nikola seemed really frustrated.
-"zašto nisi bio tamo u 19 časova ?"(why weren't you there at 7 pm ?) he stood up and walked toward his son.
-"bio sam sa Kelom i nismo videli kako vreme prolazi."(i was with Kel and we didn't see time passing.) Sunny explained himself.
-"tsk, za ništa nisi dobar ! ne možeš ni da se vratiš kući na vreme !"(tsk, you're good for nothing, you can't even get home in time !) he raised his voice, and grabbed his son's collar.
-"spusti me."(put me down.) Sunny asked with his monotone voice.
-"nisam završio sa tobom." (im not done with you.) he sternly said, before reaching in his pocket, taking out blades and a bottle of Prozac. Sunny's heart skipped a beat when he saw that, and he started to sweat a bit.
-"šta su ovo dođavola !?"(what the hell are these !?) "oštrice, antidepresivi !?" (blades, antidepressants !?)

a long silence took place.

...